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How do I have the talk?

My husband and I are on very rocky ground. He is unsupportive toward me, I have been ignored for years, it got better before we conceived our second child, then the ignoring started again. He had phone sex and had "her" breast on his phone. I left when I saw the messages, We went to counseling, I came home, after 2 months he decided we didn't need it anymore, and things are getting as bad as they were. I am afraid of divorce and I don't want to share my kids. He threatens me when I mention leaving ( threatens to never let me see kids, and yells and says I'll NEVER make it on my own) I want shared or sole custody. His whole family is vindictive and it would not be a peaceful divorce, I am so unsure what to do. I am afraid of how I will manage financially.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Nov. 6, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Any man that gets mad at you for going to church, in my book, isnt worth being with. I agree you should leave. But like the others said. Dont leave until you talk to a lawyer. they will be able to tell you what is the best course of action. Oh and also i would start going back to church. God bless you and good luck.
    bubblebean

    Answer by bubblebean at 3:45 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • well do you have a supportave famil member or a really good friend? if so ask if you can stay there while you get a job and get on your feet again
    ldc90

    Answer by ldc90 at 2:58 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • You need to do what is best for you and your children. Let's face it... he's in the wrong. There is NO court on earth that will allow him custody over their mother provided you aren't abusive/alcoholic/drug user/etc... Don't worry about that. And don't worry about money. If you have friends and family you will be fine. Bravo for your attempt to make it work, but he obviously doesn't want it to or he wouldn't run all over you. Good luck. I'll pray for you!
    AggieMamacita

    Answer by AggieMamacita at 3:00 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I do have a supportive family member, emotionally, she has a full house and I wouldn't want to burden her, I work part time and can easily move to full time if needed. I just don't know what to say to my husband when talking to him about where our relationship is going, he is hard to talk to, trying to find time when he isn't in a bad mood and hope that when he is in a good mood that I say the right words to not put him in a bad mood.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I definitly do not do drugs,smoke or abuse alcohol, I will have a beer or a glass of wine when I am not going anywhere. I did quit church because I was yelled at all the time for being gone to much at church. Thank you for your prayers!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • 1. go see a lawyer-do not I repeat DO NOT leave your home!
    2. Trust me I'm going through a divorce hell because I left with the kids.
    3. Do not sign anything until you talk with an lawyer.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • anon 3:12 I agree good luck to both


    call legal aide maybe they can help

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:15 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • All of your questions will in time fall in play. You have to do what is best for you. If you are unhappy and you tried to save your marriage, well then it is time to get tough. He will be apart of your childrens lives either way, as he should he is their father. Take one thing at a time, try not to put everything at once on your plate.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 3:53 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

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