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Why do I get so frustrated?

I have one child, 3 years old. She never listens to me, she never will take a cup we give her, it has to be a different cup. I feel like I do most of the punishments, so she always wants her dad. I feel like a craptastic mom. I try really hard, but it never seems good enough for her. She won't listen. Time outs don't really do anything. What do I do here? Why does she seems like she doesn't love me?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Dec. 6, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Oh mom, don't ever for a minute think that this little girl does not love you, you are apparently the authority figure, of course, you are the bad cop!!! keep at it and never doubt her love, it will some day pay off.

    Answer by older at 1:36 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Does the other parent not discipline or just not home to do it? I hope when able they stand behind you 100%. the child needs to know your all on the same wave length. When the Dad is home and something needs done ask him to do it, ( and maybe say tot he kids) you need to listen to your Mom and do as she asks or tell you.
    Also I learned from time do not give into her.. If she is thirsty she will drink from any cup. you change the cup once you will change it again n again.
    It can also hurt us as we moms want our kids love & acceptance!! but I now know had I been a little more stricter with my daughter, she may have loved me more. then being older and thinking I still need to get her another cup.
    Also talk to your kids doctor he may have some ides.

    Answer by valinindy at 1:40 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • You're allowing her to be that way. Honestly. If you give her a cup and she throws a tantrum because she wants another one, then she doesn't get anything. She either gets the cup that she is given or she goes without. When it comes to time outs they're not going to work instantly. She is a toddler and is going to push your buttons until she gets you to break. Giving up and saying "Oh nothing works, she doesn't listen" is a complete cop out. It only works if you make it work and are consistant with it. If it's time outs, taking away toys, or whatever punishment it won't work over night. It may even take a few days for her to accept it. The more you cave, the more you give her leeway, the more you allow her that authority the more she's being the parent. She's not, you are. So take that with confidence.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:48 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Oh she loves you! You just have to be consistent with whatever punishment you deal. Mean what you say and say what you mean - but with love (not weakness). When she makes her demands stand your ground, otherwise it could become a future pattern of temper tantrums and disrespect. If  I were you I would pop her on the palm with the ruler, then sit her in time out. It doesn't have to hurt, but it will make a difference. Trust me, the more you disciple, the more they love you for it at the end of it all. Good luck.


    Answer by sugahmamma at 1:51 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Every tantrum she goes straight to her room. No warning, no coddling, no "Oh honey, but you should really calm down". No, she's looking for you to give her that "Poor baby" talk. Which means she's trying to manipulate you. Let her scream it out in her room. Ask her before hand what cup she wants and let her know that her choice is final. That she will not be switching cups after her drink is poured. If she throws a tantrum, then the cup gets put back and she goes straight to her room. If she misbehaves then she gets one warning "June, you know you're not supposed to throw your toys and you did it anyway. If you do it again you get a time out for 3 minutes." (One minute for every year she is) When she does it again pick a spot away from toys and distraction and give her a time out. She will try to get up, she will try to fight back, just put her back silently and restart the time. She'll get it eventually.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:51 PM on Dec. 6, 2010