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In-Law Question

I keep reading answers about how your husband should deal with his family and you should keep your mouth shut. Why? They became your family when you said "I Do" just as your family became his.

I have no problem letting my inlaws know when they are getting on my nerves, have pissed me off, etc. Granted, there are exceptions, like when I refuse to speak to his slimy, lying, cheating older brother.

I'm just curious as to why this advice seems to be so popular.

 
SpiritedWitch

Asked by SpiritedWitch at 2:56 PM on Dec. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 40 (117,952 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Because it is usually handled better. Yes, his family is my family etc, but our families have different dynamics. I understand my parents better than he does, and I know how to resolve the situation more easily in many cases. The same with him.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 2:58 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • I don't bother telling my in-laws when they anger or otherwise offend me. There's really no point since I'd be outnumbered three to one.
    makelineerror

    Answer by makelineerror at 2:59 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • I think a lot of people think that the inlaws would take criticism better from their son than from their daughter in law. I don't have many problems with my inlaws, though I had a ton when I first started dating my husband. Having a child out of wedlock in their family was a big no no. Now they just pretend we were married before our son was born..
    BisketLiss

    Answer by BisketLiss at 2:59 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • You do not want to get in between the brother and sister or son and mom. It is not my place at all.
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 2:59 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • As for my in-laws they get offended very easily. A example would be me telling them not to give my daughter junk food. Yup, they get offended. Also I have to much respect for them to ever say they pissed me off or etc.
    Jguevara

    Answer by Jguevara at 3:05 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • I guess I just find it really weird because I have never had an issue with letting the in-laws know where they stand with me. They are my sisters and (though I don't like claiming them) my brothers.

    I remember several years ago when I invited his youngest sister to a party. She said she would come and then didn't bother to show up or call and say she wasn't coming. I was very pissed. I handled it. I sent her a lovely "Thank You" card for attending my party. She was bitch-slapped politely and called to apologize and we haven't had that problem since.

    I think, maybe it's a Southern thing, that if YOU are the one dealing with the problems that YOU have with the in-laws, they will respect you and accept you into the family better, otherwise you still seem like an outsider.
    SpiritedWitch

    Comment by SpiritedWitch (original poster) at 3:09 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Uh, I told my ex-MIL to drop dead when, after years of verbal abuse, I'd finally had enough of her crap. Yeah, the family villainized me and I'm not necessarily proud of it, but whatever.

    1smartcookie

    Answer by 1smartcookie at 4:26 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

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