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how do you truly know its meant to be?

we argue ever other day, i keep what i feel inside so it wont turn into an arguement, he says he is tired and i should jus leave. but if i do then there will be a fight about if my son stays or goes. i want to avoid problems i already have enough going on...i am 4 months and ready to leave the relationship alone!!! things take time but how do you know that it will change. we been together for a long time now and things are okay then quickly it changes. When the baby comes in May i dont want to go through the same issues all over...how do you know when enough is truly enough. i am 24 and have no one to talk to...i seriously considering counseling.

 
Onenamillion

Asked by Onenamillion at 3:12 PM on Dec. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,087 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • The difference between a rut and the grave is the depth, now let me elaborat...I am speaking from my trials and tribulations, the question you should be asking is this do yu want your children to learn what you have excepted in your life? Do you want your daughter to learn to except a man only when she is needed by him?, Do you want your son to treat a lady as( let's just keep it real) welcome mat for whenever he's needing to wipe his feet? This person is showing you lack of respect right out of the gate just by saying to you "leave". YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!! We women fall victim to being in love with being in love instead of whom the real person is. God created us woman like a tree he chose for us to be the ones who are always grounded well rounded stay true to your roots. Your young and as much as you like to think I love him can't live without him, well try it on for size and you will definately see what fits the best.
    nwaskie

    Answer by nwaskie at 3:30 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • The question here is really "what are you fighting about?" If it's finances, you are in the same boat as many many others. This economy has really put a lot of stress on families & relationships. I do NOT agree with ShouldHaveLeft! I have been married 18 years and every relationship has it's ups & downs. If it is finances then do you work? Maybe even a few hours a week or on weekends when your SO can watch your child. I am sure he would appreciate it. Maybe he is stressed & then words that we don't really mean come out of our mouths. What does he really want? I think you should try & talk without hurtful words even if he can't right now because if your relationship was strong in the past, it is still there somewhere and hopefully this will pass soon. Good luck & be strong and work it out as best as you can and there will be brighter days.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:27 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • You go with your gut. Deep down you know what is right. Good luck
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 3:14 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Once the question about "should I stay or should I go" comes into play...then you pretty much know the answer. Also, when a man starts with the "you should just leave thing" again, it's a done deal. Even if you leave and he begs you to come back, don't because things will be nice for a while but then he'll revert back to who and what he is and will start treating you as he always has if not worse. Get away from him and the situation and there is no question of where your son should go, he goes with you...PERIOD!!!
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 3:16 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • I think him saying you should leave.... should make you WANT to leave, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me, I don't think anyone should. It sounds like he is done.
    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 3:24 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Since there is children involved, I would first suggest counseling. He may or may not agree to go with you, but at least you could start on your own. Is there any violence going on? There's so many issues that you could going through right now, it's really hard to say with out knowing more. That's where a good professional can help you both. I think a good sit down discussion about the relationship is in order. Do it when you are not fighting, and try your very best to stay away from the blame game. I wish you the best of luck in your pregnancy and relationship!
    kicknscreamn222

    Answer by kicknscreamn222 at 3:30 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

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