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Missing my Mommie!!

i miss my mom, she cannot be there for me like i need her to, she is on drugs and homeless and i wish she was a better grandmother...but she's not. People have told me that she is fighting her own demons and i must let the need for her go...but constantly it is there. sometimes i jus wnat a hug or talk to her but mostly she is n/a. How do you let go of your mom?

 
Onenamillion

Asked by Onenamillion at 3:22 PM on Dec. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,087 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • People are wrong...you should never let your need for her go...EVER! The fact that she has an uncontrollable disease is sad and you do need to prepare yourself that it may kill her as any other disease might but that doesn't mean you have to love her, want to hug her or need her any less...she's is and will always be your mommy no matter what disease she has and you can't treat it like a death because your mind knows she's not dead so no matter what you try you can't assimilate that. Believe me, I've tried pretending that my husband is dead (our relationship is) to make it easier for me to just move on or walk away but since my mind knows he's not dead...I'm stuck right where I am. Our cases are different because what my husband is or has done he's done on purpose, your mom hasn't. Good luck and just love her as much as you can no matter what...you may be surprised one day...
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 3:31 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Wow. I have the exact same problem, only I am missing my daughter. She is on drugs and I need to let her go as well. it's tough, especially around the holidays. Hang in there. Maybe we can adopt each other!
    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 3:23 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • I don't think you can. I'm so sorry for what you're going through =(
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 3:23 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • I don't think I could let go of my mom. Its a horrible thing to have to, and no matter what I will always love her.
    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 3:25 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Weather you lose someone to something like this or death. You can't do it til your ready. Pushing yourself isn't going to help. Good luck!!!
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 3:25 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • It's nice that you haven't closed the door on your mom, sounds very much like you still care for her and lover her, and that's so nice to hear. So many would have said that their mom being like that ruined their life or causes them problems, but it sounds like you have a level head and understand a little of her perspective. Wish I could be of help, but I'm afraid I can't say anything that will take away you missing her or make her any better. Hugs.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 3:31 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • My mother isn't really in my life, but more so than yours. I have many mom issues that I think will forever be there lingering. It is hard to make peace with this and its a decision that you have to make in order to live a peaceful and happy life. If she is not going to get any better for yourself then you need to make a decision for yourself and kids.
    Roisin07

    Answer by Roisin07 at 4:03 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Aww that is so sad, I'm sorry your going thru this. I lost a brother to drugs in 07 and it was very hard emotionally. Not only because of his death, but because of the drugs most of my family didn't have much to do with him. I refused to turn my back on him because of the drugs and tried everything I could to help him. I just didn't do enough. I know it hurts you that your mother is on drugs, believe me. But you only get one mommie. I don't know you or your mom's situtation but believe me turning your back on her will haunt you for yrs to come if God forbid something happen to her. I don't have any answers for you, sorry I wish I did. Just love your mom. I lost my mother last yr to a sudden illness/injury, and the pain and lonliness is unbearable at times, holidays are the worse.
    (((((((((Hugs))))))))))) I hope things get better for you.
    WhoCares224

    Answer by WhoCares224 at 2:08 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

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