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Is it easier to leave or stay after someone has an emotional and sexual affair?

I really dont know. Especially since I don't believe he's told me the whole story, but I can't prove that he's not telling me everything. He realises what a massive mistake it was and how much he has messed things up but I don't want to be with him and be miserable because i'm always thinking of it. I don't want to leave and regret it, ans see him with someone else.

What would or did you do in this kind of situation?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Dec. 6, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Decide what you can live with, not what anyone else thinks. Do you want to stay in the relationship? If you do, is it because you can't imagine living life without him, or because of the kids/finances/whatever? The poster that said this is the hardest decision you will have to make is right - regardless of what you choose.

    Answer by Scuba at 4:21 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • From my personal experience.

    Neither are easy.. Making the choice which to do is not easy. And then following through once the decision is made is anything but easy.

    My husband had a one night stand 16 years ago. We stayed together and reconclied/rebuilt our marriage. It was not easy. It was damn hard completely starting over a rebuilding a marriage (at that time we had been married 9 years) from the ground up.

    When my husband confessed to his actions. I called my mom and talked to her. She stated " No matter what decision you make, it will be the hardest thing you have ever done.. If you leave, it's going to be the hardest thing you have ever done. If you stay, it's going to be the hardest thing you have ever done. Just make sure the hard road you choose is the one you honestly want. Make sure whatever you choose you are willing to follow through." She was right.

    Good luck to you, in whatever you choose.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:37 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Counseling for the both of you.

    Answer by bjojola at 3:34 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • I disagree with emotional affair can be devastating. But neither is easy, but leaving may be the stronger thing to do especially if there is any doubt in your mind that he is/was cheating. He needs to be an open book in every aspect of his life. Nothing should be a secret. He needs to earn your trust back if you want to stay with this man. Otherwise I'd get out whether its emotional, sexual, or otherwise.

    Answer by Roisin07 at 4:00 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • I left my ex bf when i found out he was cheating on me. I could'nt stay with him. Knowing what he did, living with him and having to look at him and not know the whole truth would have been too hard. So i straight out left him. it was hard for me not being with him and all. The funny thing is, i have'nt seen him since June of this year.

    Answer by 4theloveofTink at 4:06 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • It would be a deal breaker for me but some couples do get through it by going to counseling. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 4:58 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • you can not have an emotional affair. *shakes head*

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:50 PM on Dec. 6, 2010