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4 Bumps

we are struggling so hard financially, i need to get it off my chest.

im so embarassed, my parents help us out all the time, even though i insist she doesn't. yesterday she came over and took my electric bill and demanded our cell phone bill but i honestly couldn't find it, ill just have to pay it online. they pay half our rent and our internet/home telephone bill (home phone is a requirement for internet, which i told her i didn't need but she wanted me to have it cause my oldest enjoys playing online educational games lol) she pays for my oldest's schooling (which she doesn't need yet either, she can start vpk next year, but she wants her to have the 'experience') and i constantly just feel terrible that we can't make it on our own.

we are a family of 5 with a 1700/monthly income. ive tried applying for foodstamps and medicaid, but we "make too much" due to the unsteady and not always sure $400/monthly my oldest daughter is supposed to get in child support.

all of these things, the three children, the expensive phones which would cost an arm and a leg to deactivate, the apartment, our vehicles, we purchased BEFORE we found ourselves in this rough spot (he was honorably discharged from army due to bullet injury in knee) and now we have all these things but can't afford them.

luckily i am able to give my kids a nice, cheap Christmas thanks to kmart layaway. i am not able to give a nice Christmas to my parents, the people who have been our financial rock and have helped us through every rough spot we've been in.

i can't afford to work, 3 kids in daycare would cost more than i could make at work.

to make matters worse, we have to go back up to GA for two days coming up soon for more court stuff involving my dh. just when we thought it was over, they messed up the state in which his probation was supposed to take place and now are re-sentencing him to get it right this time. so that's more gas and hotel money that we just don't have, and will ultimately have to borrow from his grandma, who's husband just passed away and neither of us feel right asking her for money.

all i can do is budget, clip coupons, do what i can to keep our electric bill as low as possible, etc etc. ive done everything i can do save money and we still end up behind every single month.

im not asking for judgment or bashing. i just need to vent about this to someone! i feel so stressed and anxious all the time! if it weren't for my parents we would be out on the street. :(

 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 3:44 PM on Dec. 6, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • I've been in your situation. Your story actually sounds quite a lot like my own. I had no one to watch my kids and couldn't afford to pay anyone so I had to quit my job. I can't begin to tell you the amout of money lost with that. It's been 2.5 years and we have struggled. God has seen us through it all and I know without a doubt in my mnd that He will continue to provide for us and that we won't struggle forever. "This too shall pass". Dh applied to a job last November that was GREATLY sought out by nearly 70,000 applicants in our area. They were on;y going to hire 2,000. We could have been really negative about it and said, no way should we even bother applying or no way will he get hired but instead we both prayed literally everyday for almost a year about it and this past August he was hired there! I am STILL thanking God daily of how good He has been to us. This is just ONE of the many things He has done for us.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Hun, I hope the vent made you feel better, you are so lucky to have parents like the ones you have, I hope you are aware of this, count them in your blessings because this is what they are. I send you wishes for a better year and that someday soon, you can return those favors your parents have made for you, you are indeed one lucky lady!
    older

    Answer by older at 3:46 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Get a part time job when dh is at home. That will knock out childcare. Every little bit will help. Good luck!!
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 3:46 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Oh Mommy.. I am so sorry *hugs* I know we are paycheck to paycheck but it sounds like you are really going through some hard times.. I think a letter to your parents telling them this and how wonderful they are will be MORE Than a gift... Hang in there... I wish you the best of luck!!!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:47 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • You are lucky to have parents like that. And speaking as a parent of an adult child, I can tell you that she is probably more than happy to do it for. There will be another time in your life that you can show her your appreciation by doing for them. As for now, it sounds like you have enough stress in your life so just allow them to help you and don't beat yourself up over it.
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 3:49 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Sweetie, I do understand. We have all been there,and to be honest, we still are. Things were going pretty well for us, untill I had a bad fall, and now am not able to work. My husband, God love him, works so hard,and I hate not being able to help. Just know, you aren't alone,and thank God you have such awesome parents. I can tell you, I'm sure the best present you can give your parents is making sure your kids have a good Christmas. That is how I would be with my daughter and grandkids. Keep plowing along, things will get better.
    cbk_mom3

    Answer by cbk_mom3 at 3:53 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • i am so sorry you are going through hardships. things change and don't stay the same. when i was about 23 years old.. i left my ex husband.. i had no job, 1 infant and 1 toddler.. i left with exactly 820.00 in my pocket.. a nd little support..i stopped thinking about the past and began planning for the future.. after a couple of years i enrolled in a 6 month computer program, graduated and landed my first real job in the nonprofit world. i literally started at 19,000. wasn't alot but it was enough to have my own apt , food and necessities... after 2 years of that i enrolled in college graduated 4 years later . i left the work world making 50,000. more than enough for all of my needs.. now im a stay at home mom again. after 15 years.
    start planning and make better decisions.. and do what you have to do to elevate yourself and your hubby. YOU can do it. pull your resources and get to working hard on bettering your life
    Aasiyah

    Answer by Aasiyah at 4:09 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Well, could you sell the car? Then take out a small loan to pay for a beater. That should save quite a bit every month.
    Then use some of that money you saved to get out of the cell phone plan, get prepaid or go without.
    Then you said the apartment is expensive, have you started looking for a different one?
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 4:15 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Your parents sound amazing. Mine help too even though I don't ask. I had to quit mentioning things to my mom, like once I said I was heading the store on payday of that week to get some socks for my youngest and two days later a box arrived with socks, pajamas and toys for both my kids. All I can suggest is what everyone else has - try for a job while your husband is home. I tried that too but here all I have gotten is rejection. Believe me you are not alone even though it seems like it.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 5:57 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • We've been in a rough spot lately, too. I have been doing odd jobs for people I know through friends.. Like cleaning, babysitting, shoveling snow/mowing lawn...etc.
    Girlsabadfish

    Answer by Girlsabadfish at 6:01 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

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