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how do i get control of my teen daughter before its to late she is becoming out of control since our divorce

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Asked by ladyk29 at 8:38 AM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (9)
  • Talk Talk Talk...but most importantly Listen!!! She may be acting out due to frustration with the situation or feelings that she just doesn't know how or cannot manage. It may be a good idea for her to see a specialist to discuss her feelings to a 3 rd party. The question did not state what she is doing. She may be testing your boundries with her and trying to get away with more than she could when there were two parents in the home. Teenagers are so difficult. Good Luck. Hope it all turns around.

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 8:52 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • There is a great book out there that I would recommend to ANY parent of teens. It's called "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy". It really gives useful tools and insight into the mind of your child. Check it out.

    Answer by Mel40 at 9:57 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • You don't. As your child is demonstrating for you, it is not possible to control another human being if they choose not to be controlled. Happily controlling behaviour is also alienating behaviour, and who want to push their child away?

    The solution to almost everything, as MamasCooCoo indicated, is listening. Your daughter is communicating with you -- granted, in an immature and illogical way, but probably the only way she knows how. What is she really trying to say? Consider the possibility that she's as frustrated and confused as you are (about her behaviour) and see if you can't make it clear to her that you are on her side.

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:20 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Maybe you both can do joint cousling, maybe this way you both can start talking and work things out. Good luck.

    Answer by christene at 11:24 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • If you sit down and talk to your daughter be open to her thoughts and feeling before you pass judgement. think about what is being said. no matter how earrashinal it is. remember it is emotion and lack of experances and influnces by peers. Then once you have internalises what is said. give your oppion and tell her it is your opion. That you understand that she is going to do what she it going to do. but the door is open for her to come and talk to you. if this dose not work maybe take to the the dr.s and see if she may have a cimical in balnce. just thought do what you need to do.

    Answer by annangel at 11:29 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Talk to her. She may be feeling responsible for the divorce; blamming you or her dad. You need to find out what's going on with her. You and her need to go somewhere together ie, shopping, lunch, nail shop or away from home; this will prevent her from acting out in public hopefully so you can open up the conversation. My children didn't act out after my divorce; but I work with troubled kids and they just sometimes need to talk out their feelings and don't know how to start. Good luck

    Answer by DaMoma at 12:58 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • yes listen.Listen to whatever she has to say and dont judge her too harsh or come down on her.
    i never had and i know i never will have a good relationship with my mom,and i wish i did.

    Answer by pnuts_mom51706 at 5:07 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • As the others above have said, "Talk, talk, talk!" It may not change anything but at least she knows you're there and willing to listen. Let her know what she's doing is bothering you and set down guidelines for her behavior in the future along with specific, clear consequences to her further acting out. I don't mean that you should threaten her, but make it clear that you won't put up with her acting out and that there's better ways to express herself.
    Teens are hard - all of them! Good luck!

    Answer by durga826 at 6:31 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • Talking is one thing. TAKE EVERYTHING AWAY! After the meltdown, set your expectations, consequences, and how you be treated. Make her earn it back. Its tough but the next years can be so much nicer..........good luck!

    Answer by ToldUNo at 2:32 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

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