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4 Bumps

So I made a little mistake and I need my sister to forgive me...

I am currently going through martial problems with my husband.... My sister invited me to come stay with her in her spare room until after christmas ... I accepted and though that it would be a great time... I havent actually seen my sister in a long time I am alot older than her ( she is 24 and I am closer to 40 ) and we also live a few states apart... Well after a few nights I realized I wasnt having the time I though I would... She is more of the susie homemaker type and spends the whole day chasing her little kids around and cleaning ( My kids are teens and dont need as much attention and we had a cleaning woman come twice a week, so this was really different staying at her house)........

ANYWAYS ... I will admit I was trying to drowned myself in alchol and self pity because I am afraid to lose my husband and the life I had ( I actually thought by coming here for awhile would make him and my kids miss me and appreciate me more )...

and I hate to admit it but one night I stayed up and drank at her house, I was watching some movie and her husband came down stairs ( not sure why ) ..... we ended up kissing - well making out and she came down to see us !!!!

I feel very badly that she seen us, but i guess I got caught up in the moment of a man who is a little younger than me ( he is 29 ) being attracted to me .... But on the other hand all we did was kiss we did NOT have sex or even take any clothing off.... I dont think she should blow it out of portion as she did....

I think her husband is the slime in this , and should be in "more trouble" than me.... he even tried to come to the hotel with me when she told us to both leave ....

But anyways i do feel very badly and I want my sister to forgive me, but I do not know how to go about in doing that ( send her flowers and a letter explaining myself ? )

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Dec. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (28)
  • You crossed a line, blood looks out for each other not cause each other pain.


    Answer by older at 9:15 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • You didn't have to kiss him. You could have told him no. You aren't the victim in this. What you did was wrong, and you need to take full accountability if you want her to even consider forgivness. Thinking she's blowing out of proportion isn't gonna help.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:15 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Your sister and her husband need privacy to work out their marriage. Despite that fact that you were dunk you should have known better than to kiss and married man and in his own home! She has the right to be mad. I think you outstayed your welcome and should go home or move somewhere else. Even if she does forgive you shouldn't stay.. Go home and work on your own marriage.

    Answer by tobys.mommy at 9:16 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Seriously, you think he is the slime?? You are a slut. She is your SISTER. If you were my sister you would be out of my life... You deserve to lose your husband, your family and your sister..... whore.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 9:17 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • No sarcasm is intended, but how would you word a letter like that? "Sorry sis, I was drunk and felt flattered that your husband who is younger than me was attracted to me"? I wouldn't even BEGIN to know how to do that!
    My suggestion is to give her a few days to cool off, but continue to try to make contact. The LAST thing you want is for him to be talking to her the entire time and making you look like the only bad person. If you try to talk to her and make sure she understands that you take half the blame but also share that same blame with him then she might forgive you.
    Him on the other hand? She MIGHT forgive him, if for nothing else then to make her marriage work for the sake of her children, but she could also not. It all depends on the kind of woman she is.
    Let her cool down, but continue to talk to her. Let her know you feel bad for what happened and that it might never have happened if you hadn't indulged.

    Answer by momnstepmom at 9:17 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • in my opinion a kiss is just as, if not more, intimate as a sex. people have sex for fun all the time but a kiss is a caring gesture. i agree with music mom on the course of action and please dont use oyu drunkeness as an excuse when you do confront her, that just makes people angry. alcohol is not a good excuse. it takes responsibility off of you.

    Answer by cassie_m at 9:19 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • All I had to read was the title before I knew what was coming. If I were you, I wouldn't be passing the blame. You were BOTH terribly wrong. This sounds like a Jerry Springer episode.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 9:22 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Wow. I would have kicked your ever loving ass. Sister or not. I have 5 little sisters, and I gaurantee you I would have kicked any of their ass's for this. Not to mention, that this post sounds more like you are asking for someone to take your side. You don't even sound like you are sorry. Not once in your post did you say "I really love my sister and wish I hadn't done that". Instead you only say I'm sorry SHE SEEN US. Does that mean you wouldn't be sorry if she hadn't caught you? Best advice I can give you is to call Jerry Spinger.

    Answer by usdragonflies at 9:23 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • You're at fault here. What the heck was you thinking?

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 9:26 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Their is nothing you can do, the choice is hers, even though you were vulnerable and emotionally unstable , some lines you cannot. Undo. Send her and email and hope she let's u back in her life, stop drinking if it makes u that way and make sure she knows you will do whatever is nessasary for her forgiveness . And that may take a while , sorry to say I would be pissed if my sister even flurted with my hubby.some post said it's just a kiss. Kisses me so much , that's where it all starts. Don't Minimize it, and say that it was only a kiss. A betrayal is a betrayal plain and simple.

    Answer by NaiveDream at 9:31 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

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