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multiple children and bills....

Does it ever bother you when you know people who have a ton of kids and can barley afford to live. I have a friend who is always asking for money, and her husband works two jobs! I feel bad for them cause my hubby and her hubby have been best friends since grade school but come on! If you are so broke why do you keep spitting out kids! I just wanna yell that at her, but I feel like it might come between our hubbies. I don't wanna ruin our hubbies friendships, but I am also tired of sneaking behind my hubbies back to buy her groceries or give her money. She even had me go buy her a pregnancy test the other day because she couldn't afford one! WTF!! grrrr! What would you do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Dec. 6, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I love when people say "nobody has a right to tell someone how many kids they can have"! Umm, yeah we can when WE'RE PAYING for those kids! Vote me down all you like....I'm all about people having as many kids as they want....as long as THEY can afford them. OP I think it's great that you're helping her out, but if I were you, I'd tell her that in the future, the only thing you're going to help her pay for is some BIRTH CONTROL!
    HaydensMama07

    Answer by HaydensMama07 at 11:16 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • While it is nice that you have been helping I would tell her you can't anymore. You shouldn't have to go behind your husbands back to buy her things just because she can't afford them. Tell her to look into state help for assistance if she really needs it.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:01 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Stop helping!
    SabrenaLeigh

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 10:01 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • I agree with you. I can't say exactly what I would do, as I've never been in a similar situation. But I would most likely end up doing what you did, I can't stand to see kids go without. I think you should sit down and discuss this with your husband and come up with a plan together so that the decision and outcome(on the friendship) is on both of you noone can be blamed for the bad outcome(if that happens).

    Good luck!
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 10:01 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • I would not keep enabling her. You must think you are helping her, but it really sounds like she's using you. Learn to say no. Why would you use your money to buy her a pregnancy test, especially since you are complaining that she can't afford to have another child. What's next? Are you going to pay for her to have an abortion? If you don't have enough guts to say no to her, then just stay away.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • I help cause I don't want th kids to go without. I feel bad cause my son has everything he needs and more. They have tried to apply for assistance but where he works two jobs they don't qualify. They are already on the brink of divorce caus of the stress.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:05 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Wow the anon above is simply a dolt. Did you even read the post before you starting ranting like a lunatic?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:07 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • They sounds like the type of people that if they had 1 or 10 they would be wanting help from others. I would quit helping and maybe they will have a wake up call.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 10:16 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • I think your best bet is to tell your husband about it and ask his advice. He may be upset that you went behind his back, but your heart was in the right place. I agree with the other comments, it sounds like she is abusing your kindness and generosity. I'm struggling to make it, but would never want to put my FRIENDS in a situation where they felt obligated to help. If worse comes to worse, I'd just fill my schedule with other activities (real or imagined) and apologize to her that you just don't have the time like you used to. Distance often gives both parties perspective. Hope this helps and good luck!
    Nawti

    Answer by Nawti at 10:20 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Wow...anon is in full force being a bitch behind the button tonight...

    OP--as hard as it is, you have to just say no. Let her know you don't want to go behind your hubs back anymore. It's hard to say no sometimes, but you are making yourself unhappy with it all.
    michelle121003

    Answer by michelle121003 at 10:27 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

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