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I'm not sure I have the right to be mad but...

I just found out my husband spent about $500 on presents for our daughter's upcoming birthday. She's turning 2!!! Is that not absurd?! I'm so aggravated. All I said though was "That's way too much. You're spoiling her." He just laughed it off.
Here's where I'll probably catch some flack but- we don't really mix finances. I have no idea how much money he makes nor he I. I work a very small number of hours a week where as he works a very good full time job.
I'm aggravated because he could have put that into savings or something instead of buying her so much stuff that nothing I can afford will even compare so I feel like why even bother?
Is it too much or am I just frugal?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Dec. 6, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • That is quite a bit for a 2 yr old considering Christmas is coming up. Does he do this every year? My mom did this with my daughter when she was little, and continued doing this through her teenage years. My sister did the same thing with her daughter. So, I know what's going to eventually happen. Just wait until the teenage years. The children that get this much over the years, the teenager will want everything they can get their hands on, not to mention being a spoiled brat.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:43 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Wow...all the gifts for our daughter are from US. I think that's really immature on his part. I have never received a gift that was only from one of my parents.....both their names were on everything. I think that's ridiculous, like pp said, it should NOT be a competition.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 11:50 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Can I be his child, lol

    Answer by Kathy675 at 11:47 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Think back to past Christmases and birthdays - What do you really remember? The gifts? Probably not. You remember where you were, who was there with you, and what you did. Even older kids who like cool, expensive gadgets, would really rather spend time together. No kid actually loves a parent simply because of cool gifts. This has nothing to do with anyone's financial situation, I don't care if you ARE millionaires. If he wants to feel closer to and loved by your children, he's going to have to get down on the floor, get eye to eye, read some books, tickle, play laughing games, and chase games, be silly, take the little one grocery shopping and let mom have some time to herself, partake in the bedtime routine, and start some special traditions.

    Answer by Airamana at 12:04 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • You're frugal. I would be upset, too. $500 is a lot of money.

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 11:36 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • If you don't know how much money he makes then you don't know if he spent too much. Maybe you are millionaires and you don't know it! ;)

    Seriously, $500 sounds like a lot for a 2-year-old. But we are strapped this year since I took the year off for baby. Maybe I am not the best person to answer.

    Answer by CarriePM at 11:36 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • I agree I think it is to much, although it should not be a competition, which is sounds like it is. I understand not putting your money together, even does whay they think is best, although on something like gifts and bills I would think that you would buy or pay for those things together. It is a thing were he is going to put his name on all the gifts saying they are just from him. She is only 2 so it might not be a problem this year, although in future years it will be.

    I would talk to him and see what he is thinking. If he really did buy her all that stuff because he knows you can't then I would say you might have a small problem on your hands.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 11:38 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • that is way to much. But you dont share your money it sounds like, so he probably wont hear you out then.But i would try anyway.

    Answer by meleia396 at 11:42 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • you are married and you buy separate gifts for your child? The way that you worded it, it sounds like a competition to spend the most money on her, I don't think that the issue should be how much money he spent on her but more so that gifts for the children should be from both of you and not a competition-or in a few years there is REALLY going to be a problem. I understand when husbands and wives have separate accounts and have "their own money" but not knowing how much your husband makes seems a little weird to me-and finances are something that both husband and wife should have complete knowledge of. If the way you have it set up is how you want to keep it then I personally don't think you have the right to be upset because you each handle your own finances.. I do however think that $500 is ALOT of money for any child-let alone a 2 yr old!

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 11:48 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Check out this article and maybe share with your hubs. Having an emphasis on lots of toys - even the learning ones - is detrimental to their development and future success. Spending time doing activities, playing, and having adventures, and putting the $500 towards a college education seems much more appropriate. The child will not remember nor value the toys. Hope this helps give him some perspective.

    Answer by Airamana at 11:56 PM on Dec. 6, 2010