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Anyone got the same problem: I think my dd is afraid of growing up.

She's 3 years old and recently we had a lot of head butting between the two of us. She refuses to answer when I ask her something. Wether I'm being kind or get annoyed after a while. She doesn't want me to help her, at the same time she CANNOT tie her laces herself. SHe get angry really fast, pulls my clothes, trys to hit me. The other day she spit at me! I'm exercising patience, but that was it! The whole neighbourhood probably heard me, I didn't care. I told her off really bad.
Also she's sucking on her fingers a lot and want to cuddle up on the couch under tons and tons of blankets. I know, she needs to feel secure (like every child). And this is warm and cozy and safe.
I don't think I ask impossible things from her. My gutt-mommy-feeling tells me she doesn't want to grow up right now. Being big can be scary because you get more responsibilties.
I let her know that I love her and care for her and mommy will always be there for her. But sometimes it's almost impossible to get the normal daily things done like brushing teeth and dressing up. You don't wanna know how many tears we had lately (including me, lol).
Any tips how I can help her through this? I want my happy baby back. I spend as much time as I possibly can with her.


Asked by BeachMom81 at 2:54 AM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 21 (11,551 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • I am super sympathetic, regarding my two year old! He has a couple different issues but the basics of the issues seem to be quite similar. I was told that the first 6 months with a new baby were the hardest but with my son the first year was awesome (on par with what I have heard from other mom's anyway). I wish I could help you, I wish I could help a lot of people.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 3:08 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • She's not gone back to peeing her pants. Luckily.

    Comment by BeachMom81 (original poster) at 2:54 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Approach it as working as a team to get things done. Work with her. Let her pick out her own clothes. Give her a few choices that she can wear and let her decide. Or just let her pick from all tops and bottoms that you OK each night. Give her the feeling that she controls some of these decisions. Maybe have a reward system with stickers for accomplishing things like brushing her teeth. My niece did that and the kids really got into it. Stickers can be mounted in a little book or on a chart. After a certain number of stickers they got a special treat or small toy (from the dollar store...puzzle, etc) Make sure she gets enough one on one time with you and your SO too. Plus praise when she does things right. This can go a long way to ease tensions. Calmly enforce the rules and have good eye contact when discussing them. Actually tell her to look into your eyes. Just ideas..................GL

    Answer by elizabr at 4:19 AM on Dec. 7, 2010