I am 29 years old and have a 3 year old and a 2 year old. We were done having kids. I was put on birth control (Mirena). I just found out that I am pregnant. For my husband, having another kid is just not an option. We are struggling financially and with this baby, would not be able to cope financially. Mentally, he doesnt want to start over with baby Number 3. We went through a rough patch during both pregnancies which put a strain on our marriage and we almost got divorced. This pregnancy, in his mind, would DEFINITELY tear our family apart. We doesnt even want to consider having another baby. Its just not in the plans. We wants to go with me to get an abortion right away.
For me, I felt the same way, until I saw those two lines. My maternal instincts kicked in right away. I was that miserable pregnant woman who never smiled, or wanted to have the baby right away. Both pregnancies and deliveries were hard on my body. I went on BC right after my second baby because I never wanted to experience that again. I just cannot go through the pain and suffering I experienced with my previous babies. I am also in college and will be done next year. I was looking forward to going back to work. (I have been a SAHM for 4 years). I believe in raising my kids until they can express themselves (talk), before putting them in another person's care. That's just my beliefs though. Having this baby would put me another 2 years away from going back to work and helping my DH support our family. Financially, its a no-brainer, we would now qualify for assistance. We didnt before. We dont want to ask for help, but with this baby, we would not have a choice but to ask for help.
I am so torn. I never thought I would have a 3rd kid. That just changes everything. We would need a bigger home, bigger car, more money. I am just not the kind of woman who can handle more than 2 kids. I envy those who can but its just not for me. But on the other hand, I think in my mind about how nice it would be to give my DD another sister or my DS another brother. It would take a LOT of work and I know I wont be able to cope.
I am scared that if we have this baby, it would tear our marriage apart. Right now, we should be in counselling, but we just cannot afford it. We are not in a good place. I believe that a marriage has to be built on a solid foundation before we can bring kids into it, otherwise, it almost always fails. This is another reason DH wants an abortion.
For those who might get offended wit the title of the post, I just want advice from people who are objective. Consider everything I have said before you give me advice. I know it is morally wrong to have an abortion, but considering the situation, it might be an option.
Asked by Anonymous at 7:41 AM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Relationships
Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 AM on Dec. 7, 2010
Answer by lambdarose at 7:56 AM on Dec. 7, 2010
Answer by Krystal.Ingalls at 8:07 AM on Dec. 7, 2010
If it were me (and I'm pro-choice) I would have it . After having one child, I couldn't consider an abortion. I did try with my 2nd and I couldn't go through with it.
As for the financial part, things happen in life that we can't plan for and there is always ways to overcome.
As far as your husband goes, I think he needs to grow a pair and suck it up and grow a pair. I think it's a sad reason to want to end a marriage. JMHO.
BUT, if you really think you can't handle another one, that it would drive you over the edge, then that's something only you can decide. You have to make the decision for YOU, not based on what the kids would want.
Good Luck on this very tough decision!
Answer by Cindy18 at 8:12 AM on Dec. 7, 2010
Answer by purpleducky at 8:12 AM on Dec. 7, 2010
Answer by Gremlyn1980 at 8:12 AM on Dec. 7, 2010
Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:17 AM on Dec. 7, 2010
Answer by sunshine58103 at 8:38 AM on Dec. 7, 2010
Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 8:46 AM on Dec. 7, 2010
Answer by Scuba at 8:49 AM on Dec. 7, 2010