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Dealing with guilt of formula feeding

I have been breastfeeding but feel like I am neglecting time with my other two kids since I feed my newborn for an hour all throughout the day. I have decided to throw in the towel and switch to formula. I feel so guilty for some reason. I feel guilty for not breastfeeding since it is better for him and cheaper.....but at the same time I feel guilty about time with my other kids. My son is really acting out because of this and I can tell it is affecting him. Ugh. How do I deal with this? It is stressing me out! I formula fed the other two...why is it such a big deal with this one to switch? :-(

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:58 AM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (13)
  • I don't know, but I went through the same thing with my daughter. My son was 2 when she was born and still needing help with just about everything. There were other factors involved, too. I felt guilty because I was going to try my hardest...and that apparently wasn't enough.

    Answer by Krystal.Ingalls at 8:02 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Don't feel gulity. You have to do what is best for your whole family and if you are stressed about breast feeding then it is okay to stop. I remember nursing my son and crying all the time. I was so stressed and it wasn't working well. I have it 4 months and one day my mom said "It is okay to stop." That was all I needed, I stopped nursing and we both became happier. He is now 13 and is a bright, funny, smart child. So don't feel gulity just because you are looking after everyone and what is best for all.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:06 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • i will bump ya honey. i know. i use to feel guilty when i stoped breastfeeding. she was on formula and breast milk but i just stopped and it affected her but not that bad but i still feel i should of try for longer. but i feel i just did it for a little bit and that is important. he got a little and that is important. you have other children and that is important to you too. just hang in there. maybe try to pump? i don;t know. i couldn;t pump so i am not sure if that is a option. good luck.

    Answer by lambdarose at 8:07 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Yes. I also felt guilty too. I was doing really good with my 2nd son, but life got in the way. It's a huge commitment to BF and I really wanted it. I just remind myself that I was formula fed and I'm fine. Also that every drop of breast milk given counts. 2 days is better than none, etc. You need to do whats best for you, but just make sure you are ready to quit. I really really want to bf again, but I know it will just make the baby really unhappy trying to get my milk back in. If you are ready to quit try to shake off the quilt and remind yourself you are a great mom either way.

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 8:26 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • It feels bad not to bf baby in part cause it is fulfilling for u and baby. I am sorry you feel bad. :( do what u need to do.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 8:33 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Honey, take a deep breath and look at your beautiful children. You do what you need to do to make your family happy. If that means switching to formula - so be it. You do what you have to do for your family.
    You aren't the 1st mother that's had to do this and you won't be the last mother either. Take a deep breath again and go hug your beautiful babies. You can even make formula feeding more family oriented by letting big brother help hold the bottle with supervision.

    Good luck with everything.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:52 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Hi Mumma! Like all the previous posters said, you need to do what is best for you and your family. I only breastfed my first son for 4 months before his chewing got to be too much for me. I pumped for a while afterwards but he was on formula after 6 months. The most important part is the first week or so, when the milk has the colostrum, and the extra calories to help keep the baby warm after coming out of the womb. I'm hoping to breastfeed longer with the baby that's on the way, but if it doesn't work out, it doesn't. The more stressed out you are about your family, the harder and harder it will become to feed anyway because your milk won't come in as much. Good luck in whatever you decide. Take care, and happy holidays!

    Answer by BisketLiss at 8:56 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • If you are feeling guilty, it's because you're not content with your decision. In any case, it doesn't have to be all or nothing you know. You could breast feed AND bottle feed. A lot of moms don't think of this, so I thought I'd mention it.

    Answer by Krysta622 at 10:03 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Supplement the breast feeding with formula. That way you still get the time with your other kids and your baby still gets breastmilk. If you can, try to pump some and that way you can bottle it and have the other ones help you with feeding time so they feel more involved. If that doesn't work for you, don't feel guilty. You have to do what is best for ALL of your family. If your son needs more one on one time and that is the only way you can do it, then do what you need to do. GL hon and try not to let it get you down.

    Answer by kmath at 10:34 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Newborns being the little time vaccuums that they are no matter how you feed, you might not be getting a lot of extra time after all. Have you considered a sling? Pop baby in, "forget" him.

    Your older kids would act out in any event... that's normal when you've rocked their world and had the gall to bring ANOTHER child into it. **grin** It is the nature of the eldest especially (I'm an eldest... tried for a long time to convince my parents to send my brother back).

    NO GUILT. One drop made you a success. And you don't have to do all one or the other.It's HARDER to do both but can be done.
    But NO GUILT unless you kill someone.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:23 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

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