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Isn't this her choice?

Am I doing something wrong?

My step-mother won't visit us for whatever reason. Her reasons my dad gave were kinda bogus. Says she doesn't like cats, yet had one herself for over 12 years. And our cats are never around much.

When we go to her place, she's got all these snacks out and stuff. Well thats her way of entertaining I guess. Plus they got more cash than we do to do that stuff. I don't really do that. We're not as fancy, house is smaller, etc.

At this point I don't expect to see her unless I go to their house, but I was wondering what her deal was. She's playing dumb about it.

I'm not entertaining the same as she does, that doesn't make me wrong. And I'm 99.9% certain it has nothing to do with cats.


Asked by Zoeyis at 9:07 AM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • She may have social anxiety and just not want to tell you.


    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 9:10 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Sounds like she's a snobby *bleep*... I wouldn't want her at my house!

    Answer by Gremlyn1980 at 9:09 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Could it be that she doesn't feel welcome in your home? You don't have to put out a "spread," but offering coffee or something is always a nice thing to do. It could be that she is more comfortable in her own place as well. Anyway you cou;d just sit down and have a heart to heart with her? If it's done without confrontation it could help resolve this quickly.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:23 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Could it be that she is uncomfortable, or doesn't want to be around your boys? People who have never had to deal with autism, or don't understand it generally look at kids on the spectrum as being mentally retarded (a HUGE misconception). And I know quite a few who are uncomfortable around them. Even assholes about it.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:12 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Yeah, we've had friends with the same issue... People are uncomfortable around their kids, its sad that they're just misinformed, or completely ignorant. 4 of my sisters 6 (the 2 youngest are too small to know yet) are autistic to varying degrees... I'm not even sure what the diagnosis is, since shes really reserved about it, and doesn't associate much with the family because of it (I disagree with that decision, but her choice)... Shes had the same problem with friends/family.
    If that IS the case, do you think that a little information or assurance would do her some good? She might just be embarrassed to broach the issue with you, or simply not understand how to. Lets face it, being around the activity level that most autistic kids function at can be daunting! She might not handle it well :(

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:22 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Well, I can say she is kinda shy around us. My dad says she's very vocal when its just them.

    I know she and my dad have had some relationship issues and are more like good friends than a married couple. She's very loyal to her bio-family and doesn't have any particular attachment to us except being my dad's kid.

    One thing to point out: when my boys were little she came by all the time. Now that they are in Jr High...never see her over anymore.

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 9:13 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Thats true, Obby, the Autism really took notice when they were about 8-9 and thats about the time she withdrew. You may be onto something there.

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 9:14 AM on Dec. 7, 2010