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2 Bumps

What is the right thing to do?

I am a newly wed in the military. The thing is my husband hasn't had a job since we have been together. We fight constantly. Before we got married he wasn't acting like he was engaged at all which I am not upset about. What I am upset about is I deployed to Afghanistan in March. He then moved down to Alabama thats where he started becoming distant with me. I went to Alabama on my leave to go see him not even two weeks after seeing him he cheated on me. A few months after that he cheated on me again. Then he took me off of our phone bill moved to Florida with his new roommate. His next door neighbors are a few girls who have informed me that he has been saying he is single and that I am his sister. The whole time I have been gone he has been partying and using money out of my bank account. He also traded in our truck for an older car without informing me. I still have feelings for him but everytime I talk to him is an argument. I dont want a divorce but he does. I still love him and he still loves me but says things wont change. I am not quite sure on what I should do in this situation. 

Answer Question
 
Spargo1

Asked by Spargo1 at 9:55 AM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Sorry but it's time to move on. Cut your ties. There's no use in hanging on if this is how he is acting and he feels. There's more for you out there. Good luck!
    flgirl

    Answer by flgirl at 9:57 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Divorce him. He is a cheating monster. You're serving your country and he's cheating and partying it up? He doesn't deserve you. I'm so sorry.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:58 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • That is the thing though I get it set in my mind that I want to leave him and I am strong enough to but when It comes down to it. I always end up thinking about him and trying to call him to try and make things work but end up making myself hate him every time we speak, because of the things he says to me. I fell like I am blind folded and it wont come loose.
    Spargo1

    Comment by Spargo1 (original poster) at 10:06 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • ???
    why would you STAY?

    nothing to stay and fight for
    he wants a divorce-give he exactly what he wants
    change the bank account today, so he has no access to it!

    he is a creep
    men like this, you want to put a warning sign on..stay away!
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:20 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • You have to think about yourself and what's best for you. It is very damn hard to be rejected. But don't take it personally. He does the same thing to all the girls I am sure.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 10:40 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • First thing I would do is change the bank account. Second thing get a divorce. Doesn't sound like someone you need in your life, definitely sounds like you could do better!! I say cut your loses and move on.
    Jessica45

    Answer by Jessica45 at 10:44 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • You so need to leave him you deserve so much better. What if you had a child by someone like this. You deserve someone who is proud for what you do and not say your his sister while your putting your life in danger.
    preciouschild

    Answer by preciouschild at 1:29 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • sorry this question just has me really upset. Why would you stay with someone like this. You say he doesn't work what kind of man is he? Is he a stay at home dad?
    If not then why are you financial supporting him? Don't you want someone who is going to want to buy you nice things and not with your money?
    preciouschild

    Answer by preciouschild at 1:31 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Honey, you're not a wife, you're a walking BANK ACCOUNT. Since you're on a mom's site I'm guessing you are a mom too? If so.. if something happened to you while deployed, do you want your benefits going to your CHILD or to this no-good?

    DIVORCE HIM. This is NOT a marriage and never has been. But close your bank accounts first.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:41 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Thank you guys for all your good advice! I talked to him and as soon as I get home we are going to go to the court and file an uncontested divorce!
    Spargo1

    Comment by Spargo1 (original poster) at 5:26 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

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