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Is this normal?

I had a baby a week ago and i know depression is normal but on top of that i feel like my dh is acting differant. We have 5 girls all together but the 2 oldest are mine and he has been mean towards my girls. He calls all the girls names and when my oldest asks a question he tells her to shut up or if she says she can read he says no u cant. And then he has his times where he's really sweet and loving towards them. But lately i have been finding myself looking for a reason to leave him. He drives me insane with going back and forth with being sweet and the biggest ass ever! He treats me the same way he treats my girls and at times even feels like he's treating me like one of his kids. What should i do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Men can go through post partum too, in their own ways. I'd recommend that he talk to a therapist, or that he gets out and finds a hobby. My hubby gets cranky if he's bored.

    Answer by BisketLiss at 12:20 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Take your kids and leave I know its hard but NO its not normal NO ONE should talk bad to you7 or your kids

    Answer by raisingmen at 12:20 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • No it is not normal and you maybe could get some counseling if he is willing. You and your children deserve better. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 12:22 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I have never told someone to leave their man but you need to watch him real close or leave him. No man should treat a child that way and he knows that you dont like it thats why he do he needs to know how u feel especially when it comes to your daughters. Dont let him get away with that because he will think that he can get away with some other things.

    Answer by mom42107 at 12:24 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • With 5 children to care for, it's very hard to remember that your marriage should come first. And it's a challenge to so arrange your time so that your husband knows he comes first. I wonder if his lashing out at all of you is an attempt to get your attention focused on him instead of on the children. I know that sounds infantile, and that he is a grown man, but please remember that the child still lives in every one of us. Try praising him for the good things he says and does, and see if you don't see more of that behavior and less of the ugly. Try also to set aside some little bit of time every day that is just for him. It may not be more than 30 minutes but it will make a huge difference in your marriage. Or make something you know he loves for dinner and tell him you made it especially for him. I think your husband may be just trying to tell you that he wants to be important to you!

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:32 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Men can suffer from PPD too. If you feel it, and he's acting like that, I think you both need doctor appointments ASAP.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • This is not post partum and it's a behavior that will not get better only worse. My SO was amazing with my son then 2 year old son and he was up until our daughter was born and then wammo he changed...all of a sudden and for the rest of my sons life since then he's been an ass. He doesn't say anything to him because I put the brakes on that shit real quick but he still hold a lot of disdain toward him. Leave now if you can.

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 7:50 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

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