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Climax question

Does anyone else stop themselves when they are about to orgasm? DH and i have been together 11 years (he's the only one i've been with, ever) and i have never had an orgasm. I get to the brink and then i just shut it down. I have considered letting him handcuff me, just so that i can't stop him, but that feels too weird for me. Even when i'm alone i stop myself... It's so frustrating, i will go into sex with the idea of whatever happens happens and then i'm about to cum and then i stop it and it's gone and can't get back to where i was! How can i get over this whole stopping myself thing??? it's starting to bug DH too, since he feels like he's not taking care of my needs, i've tried explaining that its not him, but you know how that sounds...


Asked by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Nov. 6, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I had this same issue. I think it was because I was afraid to lose control. He's pinned me down and belted my hands but I stop it anyway. I could have written this post except the other night I finally got there (I'm not even sure how I allowed it LOL) but I will do everything in my power to not stop myself anymore. I was very surprised and shocked at the noises that came out of my mouth and when it was done I burst into tears! WHOA. You need to let go and let yourself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:27 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I have the same issue! Except on occasion I will climax once and be unable to continue (not as bad as nothing). What works for me is getting really exited first. Have amazing sex. Then try to be stimulated into orgasm manually. When you feel the sensation push the muscle you feel urge to squeeze. The squeeze in that pelvic floor muscle (the muscle you squeeze when you stop urination) is generally what causes what you are describing. If all else fails try a vibrator on your clitoris. And remember that not all women experience orgasm, it doesn't mean something is wrong with you. Because he is you first your body may still be new to it.

    Answer by amber710 at 5:08 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • well, i wish i could just say that its cuz my body's new to it, but we've been having sex for over 10 1/2 years. The worst part is that i actually feel it about to happen and then its like a switch flips and the sensation is gone. thanks for you input!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • just let him handcuff you ;)

    Answer by sunshinebaby209 at 5:16 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • i would but i have major control issues, which may be part of the orgasm issue...

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • You have got to let go! Why are you stopping the best part? Is it because of some kind of guilt or something? It's hard to understand. I would be interested at the answer. Maybe you should talk to a sex therapist, or research this one online. It sounds psychological. I'm sure you are not alone.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 5:42 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • It's not an intentional stoppage, believe me. Its just like my body goes ok wait a second here i don't think i like this and then its gone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • why do you stop? just asking if you want to get back to it then don't stop in the first place lol. ;) it's not like it's over for the both of you when you do happens again if you want! ;)

    Answer by Willywonka06 at 6:24 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • oh..that sucks not sure what you can do then if you have no control. Good luck!

    Answer by Willywonka06 at 6:24 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • i have the same problem. it sucks but i think i will take some of the ladies advice. for me it's a mental block cause my hubby is great.

    Answer by melody77 at 6:52 PM on Nov. 6, 2008