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Wow I feel bad

My hubby works a labor intensive job. I work more hours but at a desk job. His job has alot of people and they have alot of options for days off. In my job it is obvious if I'm not here and I am ALWAYS at work. He however is always looking for a way to get a day off. I just feel like this makes our work ethic different. He works 4 days/10 hours shifts. I cant imagine why he would need a day off..he gets 3 off each week. His dad just had a brain was a total shock. His dad is amazing and the rock of the family. He had a blood vessel leaking and it clotted itself. He is in the hospital for the whole week for monitoring. I know hubby is scared for his dad (so am I). Hubby filed for FMLA and has 90 hours of pay. He is taking off all week to visit his dad in the hospital. I think it is unnecessary. It happened friday night, so he has been there fr 4 days, today he took off so its his 5th day at hospital. It bugs me that he wont just go see him earlier in the day (which would be hard) and then go on to work. what if he uses all 90 hours and then we really need them? What if we get preg (which we are planning) or something happens to his dad and he regrets using the hours.
Right now he is using the hours because he wants to sit with his dad and I respct and appreciate that. HOw much is too much to sit with dad and miss work? They say his dad will make a full recovery and go home next week. (Hubby did loose him mom so losing a parent is real to him!!) I just dont want to regret using up all the hours..i am the planner in the family..hubby doesnt plan or save for anything. I am the worrier.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I think the real question is do you think he took the time off because he was really concerned about his dad or do you think he took the time off because he doesn't want to go to work? It kind of seems like you just feel that he is wasting the time off to get out of going to work. If he was spending the time sleeping in and playing video games all day instead of going to sit with his dad I could kind of see your point, but if he is really with his dad then I think that is pretty legit. I can see your concerns, too, that if he needs that time later it is now all used up. Maybe ask that in the future the two of you can talk about things like this together so that you can bring the perspective of the planner into the equation a little bit more.

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:32 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I think he'll regret it more if he doesn't take the time he feels he wants to and see his dad. If you say something, he'll resent you for it, especially if something suddenly does happen to his dad.

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 12:55 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I agree I just wish I could trust his judgement more. He makes decision for right now all the time and doesnt think about the future. He reacts on impulse alot. I want him to see his dad! It wouldnt bother me so much if he wasnt always taking a day off.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:06 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I agree with amybaby. Seeing he has already lost his mother, Im sure he is terrified to loose his father as well. My parents and I are extremely close, and I would beat myself up if I chose to go to work instead of being with them in a time of need, when they have been there for me all my life.

    Answer by TsMommy428 at 1:15 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • i think he is fine to sit with his dad. just let him do what he needs to do . after losing his mom i am sure he takes this more seriously. if he has the hours - use them.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 1:58 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Most companies allow time off for deaths in the family,especially if it is a parent. And bereavement pay as well.

    Answer by staceysgorbach at 3:06 PM on Dec. 7, 2010