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When do comprimise and control cross the line in a marriage?

I've been married for over a year, and my husband has a tendency to be a bit controlling. I used to go out all the time with friends...I'm a very social person. He doesn't like to go out if we can avoid it, and he pitches a fit if I ask to go out without him and gives me a guilt trip for asking. He asks me on a daily basis if I cheat on him, and he basically tells me what I can and cannot wear. I don't dress slutty or anything, but I recently lost a lot of weight, and I've felt confident enough to wear tighter fitting clothing. He hates it and doesn't want me to leave the house with it on. Everything is like a huge battle with him when it comes to me...

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Shana M.

Asked by Shana M. at 2:06 PM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You have to ask yourself is this a man you want to spend the rest of your life with. If he's constantly asking if you treated, then he's obvious insecure and you need to tell him that some things I going to have to change if you guys are going to stay married. YOu are your own person and sounds like you guys need to really talk about control issues.
    Good luck to you!

    Answer by Sillylins at 2:16 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Dont allow hime to do this to U, i never allow my husband and i have big arugment with hime when i fell he want to controll even little.

    Answer by tahanybahari at 2:17 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Was he always like this??? if he was you should have put a stop to it from day one. My husband loved the way I dressed prior to our marriage, sexy outfits were my thing and still are, when we got married he started doing the same as yours is doing now, and I refuse to let anyone tell me what I can and cannot wear, and often times, he refused to go out with me if I didn't change. Well needless to say we didn't go out much because I never changed my clothes. It took a while but he got the message, I wasn't about to be told what to do! You are having this battle because you have obliged to his every whim. He is obviously insecure about your relationship. If you want this relationship to work do something about it now, and out that foot down!

    Answer by older at 2:20 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • *put*

    Answer by older at 2:21 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • compromise is when both parties are heard. control is when one person has all the power. it sounds like your dh isnt HEARING you. i would sit him down and explain that i would never ever cheat on him, that if he married me - he should have had faith in that - and the fact that he doubts me really hurts my feelings. i would explain that if he continued to hurt me with mistrust that i havent earned though misbehavior... and i feel unjustly punished... and untrusted - that the marriage wont work. i would ask him if he thinks he can change of if we need to seperate (note here - i wouldnt plan on leaving him - this is just the huge bargaining chip that says -

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:21 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • oops I WONT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE... tell him he should trust you to wear clothes that show off your stuff... and go out with friends without him worrying.... and if he is too different socially from you - like too much of a loner - then maybe You guys made a mistake and you should end it sooner than later....

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:22 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

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