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Advice on fiance standing up in his friends wedding please???

My fiance was asked to stand up in his friends wedding next summer. I didn't think they were that close. I think I am jealous. Their wedding is before ours. He has never worn a tux before and I thought our wedding would be the first time. I don't know if I will be invited, I don't know them well. I don't know if I should go if I am invited. I might feel awkward. What do I do when he is busy? Where do I sit? Not sure I want to see him dance with someone else. Has anyone gone through this or felt similar?

 
Shanna84

Asked by Shanna84 at 2:27 PM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 24 (18,695 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • No. If your fiance is in a wedding, you are automatically invited. Also, he dances with someone else, it is for maybe 2 minutes, if they even have that tradition at the wedding. Most people have worn tuxes for proms and stuff... it isn't a notable first that people count on for their wedding. Finally, you will sit a table without him for dinner only, probably with other people who have spouses or boyfriends at the head table, and after that you can have your fiance back for the rest of the night. It really isn't a big deal, and it could be a fun time for you both.
    CarriePM

    Answer by CarriePM at 2:35 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I'd work on that jealousy thing. That shows insecurity and it may chase him off in time. Just go with him and have a great time. You sit wherever you want to sit and if he dances with someone just smile and know he's going home with you. As far as the tux, you get to see if you like how he looks in one. You may not like the style they choose for their wedding.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:30 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Sweetie, what is it with all these insecurities? This is no way to start a marriage??? You mingle when he is busy, why would he dance with someone else? and even if he does, isn't your relationship secure enough not to let this bother you. Now one thing I would do is make sure i am there with him, he is your fiance, you are part of a team!
    older

    Answer by older at 2:32 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Take a deep, deep breath. It would seem to me perfectly okay for your husband to stand up in this friend's wedding, he should be honored (although I know some guys have to ask everyone they know to stand up for them because the bride has so many bridesmaids). I would just relax and go with the flow. Go to the wedding if you can, mingle with some people who might also be there and not know too many people and have fun. Throw down a drink or two to loosen you up! You might possibly leave having had some fun and having danced many dances with your fiance!
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 2:30 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I agree with the 1st response. This is a sign of jealousy that can destroy a relationship. This wedding isn't about you or about him. It's about the couple that is getting married. He may very likely be invited to bring a guest, which we'd hope would be you. And, yes, he will most likely dance with the bridesmaids, especially the one he escorts down the aisle in the wedding. This is customary. It's not like they're out on a date. It's his friend's wedding reception. If you feel uneasy about him with girls in the bridal party at a reception, you have some issues to work through. As for where to sit, the proper place to sit would be on the groom's side since you are with one of the groomsmen.
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 2:36 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Don't be jealous!! Just remember,the bridesmaids have dates with them to! U sound like u have never been to a wedding. The bridal party is together for pictures at the church and reception. They also eat together. They also join the bride and groom on the dance floor. Sometimes they do switch dance partners and dance with other bridesmaids,it is nothing!!! Trust me!! Not a big deal!!! He will be yours most of the night!!! Have fun!! Keep the jealousy away!!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 2:55 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Uh, I'm going to try not to be harsh, but that's not the most ... mature way to feel about it. Sorry. Some of how you feel is being selfish and maybe insecure? Him dancing a time or two with another girl is meaningless. And wanting the first time he is in a tux to be at your wedding? I don't get that. Think of how his friend would feel. My husband was in a couple weddings over the last year, and yes I knew only a few other people, but they were his friends. He was asked for a reason. One wedding he sat at the wedding party table, the other wedding only the married couple had a table and the attendants all sat with their guest/family. How would you feel if someone told you all No because of those feelings?
    2BlondeBabies

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 2:32 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I agree with what everyone has said, I think you are making too big a deal out of the situation. Also, look at it from the other side- as someone with a wedding to plan how would you feel if one of your husband's friends declined being a groomsmen because his partner didn't want him to dance with a bridesmaid for one song or have to sit by herself for dinner? Sometimes we have to suck it up and go to an event that is more for our partner than for us, but that doesn't mean you can't have a good time and get to know some of his friends, and there are always other girlfriends and wives at weddings who are kind of in the same boat so you usually have someone to chat with. Try to relax and look at it as a fun and relaxing event to enjoy amidst the hectic and exciting time of planning your wedding. And be honored to be marrying a man who is clearly thought of as a good friend to his buddy.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:27 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • If you're invited, you sit with the side that he's a groomsman for. You may have more fun if you don't go, since he'll be busy with photos and stuff, and it sounds like you don't really know these people. But if he wants you to go so he can show off his girlfriend, go, and bear with it.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 2:30 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

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