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2 Bumps

What would you do, feel?

Ok so with my first pregnancy, I had to have an emergency c-section and was told i would never be able to have a vaginal birth. So tomorrow i will be 6 months along and my husband doesn't think he wants to be in the OR when the baby is born. He wasn't there when our son was born because he has a really weak stomache. But my mom was there for me-even tho i was completely under. Anywho, I would really like him to be there when our daughter is born, but he keeps saying "i don't wanna pass out, i don't wanna take any attention from you or something"(which i don't think they will do). We are not sure if my mom will be able to be there becuz they live in AR now(we live in KS). He's scared he's gonna faint or something. I keep telling him you don't have to look-they put that screen up and stuff like that. But he just don't get it! I don't want our son to feel left out tho. I mean if dh does go into the room then his birth is the only one daddy wasn't there for. (dh has 3 boys from a previous marriage) I don't know what to say to convince him to be there with me!

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bcbmami

Asked by bcbmami at 2:35 PM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 12 (817 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Tell him to fucking suck it up! Your the one getting cut open like a damn fish! Tell him not to look over there and have a chair he can sit on. This isn't about him. it's about you and his baby.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 2:39 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • You know, my husband would DIE if he knew this... but I kind of wish he HADN'T been there with me because in those final 20 minutes of labor (after 18 hours) he irritated the HELL out of me. Nice, huh? Perhaps I should have sent him out of the room when my last nerve was starting to fray...

    Seriously.... Ask him to come with you to the OB's office for your next appointment so the three of you can discuss the surgery. The doctor has likely dealt with hundreds of dads just like your husband and may have his own preference about Dad's presence during the procedure; it may not run in line with YOUR preference. When it comes to surgery, doc rules because that's who has your life and your baby's life in his hands. Doc may also be able to reassure your husband.

    But when it comes down to it... I would NOT push him on this. Better to have an ABSENT dad than one who's resentful for being forced into something.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:52 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • By the way..your son will never know unless you choose to tell him.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:53 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Tell him to man up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • In my opinion, I think you should let him sit it out. Maybe you could bring a close friend for support. I know it is important for you, but he also feels that he doesn't want to be there. It isn't like he is sitting out on being a father to the child. So you have it pretty lucky.
    AbsoluteSelf

    Answer by AbsoluteSelf at 3:49 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

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