Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

How terrible of a mother i am! adult content

I am almost nine weeks pregnant. I have spent the past 6 weeks wishing i would miscarry and wishing i wouldn't be pregnant. I have two young children. Been in an abusive relationship for 4 years. I was terrified. Than i started thinking about the miscarriage I did have, and all the miscarriages that happen around the world, and the babies born into heaven. How selfish it was of me to wish something to happen to my unborn baby! I feel so bad and guilty!! :( Please no bashing! I am extremely overwhelmed, and absolutely terrified. I was on birth control but conceived anyways :( Im scared of doing all this alone.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • Oh honey, hormones are crazy at that time don't bash yourself whats done is done. You realized it wasnt right now forgive yourself and do something nice for you and baby-take bath , hot tea, anything.

    Answer by raisingmen at 2:45 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Oh and your not bad and wrong look at your other babies and youll see that.

    Answer by raisingmen at 2:47 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I think some women can relate, I know I can. I have 2 small children and we've been going through some rough patches and accidentally concieved last July. It made me due in the middle of a deployment and my youngest 2 would be 16 months apart. I wished for a miscarriage and had the same realization you did, then at my ultrasound the baby stopped developing and I had to have a D&C and you can't even imagine the guilt I still feel. I felt like I wished death upon this poor baby and it came true after I realized how stupid I was for thinking it! We even had names picked out for this baby. Sadly I know what you've felt and I hope it gets better for you.

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 2:47 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Mom, I can understand your predicament, but after this baby is born you will be crying for all those nasty thoughts you had. Maybe this baby will give you the courage you need to get away from this relationship of abuse you have.

    Answer by older at 2:47 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Sounds to me like your very overwhelmed and depressed. You should talk to your doctor about this. Make an appointment and try to go ASAP. I hope everything works out for you and feel better soon!!!

    Answer by Jessica45 at 2:47 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • ♥It will be okay..♥

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 2:49 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Let me tell you something hunny, a lot of us have been there and been scared and maybe had thoughts come into our minds that we realized weren't right. But the fact is that you are a good mother because you, unlike so many people out there, did NOT take it into your own hands and decide to end your baby's life. You have that option and you haven't done it. Which means somewhere inside you, you understand the meaning of life and love your child. Its okay to be scared and upset, but I believe all babies are blessing, and the ones concieved against the odds of birth control, are meant to be as well. Get out of the abusive relationship, talk to a conselor or family member, or someone who can point you in a direction of where to go. Surpringly adding another child to 2 already won't be much different. Its going from 1 to 2 that's the hardest. God never gives us more than we can handle. Trust in that. Good luck.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 2:49 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I think you are just frightened and scared. It is okay and normal to be having those feelings. I agree that you need to have a talk with your doctor, they deal with these feelings from pregnant mothers all the time, and they will probably have some good strategies for you to better cope with this situation. For the abuse, you might need more counseling. Everything will be okay, and you need to remember that your baby loves you!!!

    Answer by spottedpony at 2:54 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Well first, you should definitly leave that person who is abusing you! And I believe all women go through the "I wish I wasn't having a baby" thought, even the one's who wanted to get pregnant. It is just natural fear of the unknown. But you have to leave that person, if you need help I am sure you can get government help, and there is probably government housing near you. Think of the safety of your children and unborn. If you are truly frightened and have no plan, then maybe you should consider giving the baby up for adoption. Good luck and best wishes.

    Answer by AbsoluteSelf at 3:18 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • {{ HUGS }} I just want to hold you and let you cry. You are going to be alright. You are going to do what is right for you and your kids. You are going to pull through. And you are going to be AWESOME. Because you are a woman, and you are a mom, and we are awesome. I can't tell you how, I just know you will. {{ HUGS }}

    Answer by Airamana at 10:02 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.