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what can i do? with my 3 yr old...

ok the problem is if i can call it that is my 3 yr old DS when i stand up to send him to time out or to take away his toys to discipline him for something bad that he did he puts his little arms up & blinks a lot like i'm going to hit him or something. ='( .. He's been doing this for like 11 mos. already ever since i was in a car accident in january this year & was hospitalized for 7 days. The only 2 pple that babysat them [my DS & DD] that my DH says is his mom [that doesn't like me at all ever since me & my DH got together & 1 time with my cousins wife- which i heard that she once forced my niece to sit down & one of my sisters happend to see her do this & brought my niece home to our house. my cousins wife watched them only once so my DH could go see me @ the hospital since he hadn't seen me & had been working the whole time too.. ] i immediately sent my DH back because i don't like others watching my kids because i'm really paranoid & think someone could hurt them verbally abuse them all that ... that's why i dont work too i don't want anyone disciplining my child in a different way that i do. I don't know what to think I don't know if it was my MIL or my cousins wife that traumatized him.. all i do when he does that is cry after i take away his toy or sit him for timeout when he hits his 1 yr old sister... ='(... i know if i ask them they aren't going to tell me the truth but i know it has to be one of them... i no longer talk to my cousins wife anymore & my kids can't visit their grandma without me being there to supervise... i want to know what i can do to help my poor DS to stop doing that.. & to know i would never do that to him ever!! i asked him but he doesnt talk clearly and he ignores me when i try asking if someone hit him ='( if i ever find out exactly which one did it i honestly will kick their a** & they will never be allowed around my kids!!!! {please no bashing..} ='(


Asked by mommyof2chasmin at 5:02 PM on Dec. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,101 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I also at 3 years old started my son on a bead jar. To reward good behavior. You get a fish bowl, the sell them at all a dollar for a buck. buy stones, or marbles, for the bead. When I see my son doing something nice like sharing without me asking or sharing the first time I ask I tell him how proud I am and that he can put a bead in the jar.

    When he is bad he will take one out and hand it to me. At the end of the week we count the beads/marbles together and give him a prize. At first we had a small tub of toys from All a Dollar. Now we give him a quarter for each bead/marble.

    This is just another way if you don't want to do time outs, you can just take the bead and my son hates to loose a bead. He's 4 now.

    good luck in your ventures.

    Answer by Skepticchick at 5:22 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I would ask my 3 year old, right after he does it. He may tell you. Don't try to drag it out of him either, kids make up things sometimes. So it's very possible that you may never know why he does that. You are now just more aware to prevent future things, and to watch for signs if anything were to happen.

    Children also play off of things that work, so he may have started doing that because he was afraid, but maybe continues because he knows it makes it hard for you to carry out a discipline. Maybe you could move the time out location. When he's not in trouble explain to him the rules, if he breaks any you will walk him or carry him to this spot. Get a kitchen timer that winds up and start the 3 min. time out on that. Show him how it works prior.

    Then he may know what to expect, and that may help him to know you're not going to hurt him. That this is what will happen. A routine styled time out.

    Answer by Skepticchick at 5:17 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • i agree and good luck x

    Answer by san78 at 6:03 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • My kids do that too, I think it is normal to a certain extent. My DH and I are pushing 6' tall..well DH is 6'3, anyway, that is intimidating. We don't hit our kids, but they have acted like we do. My son will even tell my DH "go away from me" when he comes to pick him up to talk to him about a discipline issue. It will pass.

    Answer by salexander at 10:42 AM on Dec. 8, 2010