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What would you do if your teen son is in abusive relationship?

My son is almost 18, right now he is dating a almost 19 year old. Last night was the first time I saw the abuse. I went to pick him up at his gfs house and she was yelling "F you," I hate you," and some other really bad things. When he was walking away from her she jumped on his back and started to hit him on the head. It took her brother and a neighbor guy to take her off of him. Then she still was kicking and screaming and hitting those guys. The police finally showed up.

The thing is this has been happening for awhile now, but my son didn't tell me until yesterday after I saw what happen. He said he was done with her but last night she called, to say that she was sorry to him, that she loves him and that she couldn't live with out him. Of course he forgave her, then told me that he should had took her out to dinner instead of paying his bills.

I am like, wow, I can't believe that my son is in this kind of relationship. His dad and I have no abuse in ours, I don't see how he thinks this is ok. I always worried if I had a dd that she could be abused but never thought it would be my son.

What should I do? I told him she is not welcome in our house anymore, and until he is 18 he can't see her. He flipped, told me I can't keep him away from her. I don't know maybe I need to stay out of it, because he is almost 18.

Any advice?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:46 PM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • You need to have a heart to heart talk with him and start with... "You're kidding, right?" Love isn't everything and if he has a child with this nutbag his life is over. She's way too immature to be in any relationship and may have mental problems. Does he really want to hook his wagon to this kind of pain and drama? What will she do the next time she loses it, burn down the house? Teenagers never listen but that doesn't mean you can't put your foot down anyway, especially in a case where your sanity and safety are at risk. Make sure he understands that she is OUT and he can just deal with it. Good Luck!

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 7:07 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • what a crazy girl!!! id say the same thing to my son. and i think youre right when saying hes not allowed to see her etc etc BUT when does a teenager really listen to their parents? it sucks but honestly he's almost an adult and he knows if it gets worse he should get OUT. (seems he really should already)
    good luck!

    Answer by ashleyxo8 at 6:50 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Well, he's right. You can't really keep him from her. Just try to educate him, and let him know that it's NOT ok. Good luck!

    Answer by SAMNMAYASMOM at 7:04 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I agree with everyone else just try and educate him.

    Answer by LiLJeni at 12:01 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • wow. no I really don't. Maybe you can find some books, documentaries, something to make him realize that this isn't healthy. Poor kid. Maybe you could talk to her about anger management?

    Answer by onethentwins at 6:51 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Show him some statistics about battered men, show him how it leads to disaster and show him to stand up and be a man.

    Answer by older at 7:55 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • how long does he have until he is 18 ?

    I am not sure about this, but arent parents aloud to get a restraining order for children under the age of 18 ? ( like I know some women have a restraining order on the birth fathers family members and they cant come around the mother OR child) .. maybe you could do something like that, and hopefully he has a few months before his 18th birthday and he will either wise up after not being around her for awhile... and it also gives you a chance that if you do see them together, you can call the cops and have her locked up for violating it .....


    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 9:03 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • There is a book called 10 stupid things men do to mess up their lives. By it for him and have him read it.

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 10:46 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I don't know what to tell you. But all I can say is keep talking to him. Keep talking to him and listening. If it was a girl we wouldn't put up with it. So why should he put up with it. So him that real love does not hit or punch.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 12:13 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

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