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need help with ups and downs

I know it's normal during pregnancy to have mood swings. I know it's normal to be scared and confused, and happy and all of those different feelings, but that doesn't make feeling them any easier. I'm frustrated and irritable with friends because none of them seem to have any time for me. I am working less because my employer is cutting down staff hours, so I see my co-workers less. Many of them are my friends. They all seem to be too busy to spend a few hours with me once in a while. My husband works 10 to 12 hour shifts regularly and hunts and traps during his off time. That means I spend all but one day a week essentially alone with my 3yo DS. I love my son, and enjoy spending time with him 99% of the time, but sometimes I need to get away, and sometimes I need to talk to an adult. My friends don't seem to understand this. I've been left out of gettogethers because I have a 3yo. Even though they knew about the event ahead of time and had they given me an invite I could have at least tried to find a sitter. I know I shouldn't have to be invited all the time, and I'm fine with that, but since I found out I was pregnant (I'm 20 wks), I've only seen my friends outside of work once, and at work only a few times, one of them only one day, because she doesn't usually work the days I do. I'm feeling lonely, and left out, and hurt because of it. Some days it doesn't bother me, but some days it really gets to me...


Asked by BisketLiss at 8:32 PM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 18 (4,943 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (2)
  • I'm sorry you're going through this. Do any of these friends have kids? Relationships change DRAMATICALLY when you get pregnant and become a mom. I have a friend who literally lost all of her friends except us. She changed a lot, and not in a bad way, but her priorities changed, and her friends, who were all partiers, didn't get it. Have you thought about seeking out some mom friends? I did when I was about 6 months along, and it really helped me. I felt totally isolated from my friends, who didn't have kids. I met some great moms, and we've been friends for 2 1/2 years now. You can look online for moms groups or play groups in your area.
    I hope this helps some. Life can be really lonely as a SAHM, and a lot of people don't understand that.
    Also, talk to your husband about taking some time for the two of you, and for YOU to get some time to yourself to do what YOU want, especially before the baby comes. Good luck! =)

    Answer by musicpisces at 11:16 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Music,
    Fortunately my husband seems to understand, for the most part. He doesn't help around the house as much as I need him to, but he did try to find a sitter so he and I could stay home for the evening and just spend one on one time, and decorate the tree together. It was very sweet of him (and I think the first time in the three years since we were married.)

    Believe it or not, it's the friends who do have kids that I'm feeling neglected by, beside my best friend who is also my boss and my sister in law (So you'd think she could make a few minutes for me occasionally...) I have a bunch of mom friends who are pregnant right now too, you'd think we could all get together and chat about babies, or whatever, but they never seem to have time to pop over (I don't drive). I can't wait until the spring when I can take my son and the baby to the park. I met a lot of nice moms there last spring.

    Comment by BisketLiss (original poster) at 7:51 AM on Dec. 8, 2010