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I'm scared to take my 2 year old any place I think he might enjoy....

because I never know if he will throw a fit when it's time to leave. Most of the time he does fine, but sometimes he will throw himself down on the ground and kick and scream making it impossible for me to even pick him up and carry him to the car. When he does this he doesn't stop and nothing will distract him. I've had this go on for an hour once and it's so embarrassing and makes me so frustrated I want to yell and scream back. How do I teach him that this is inappropriate behavior? I know it's part of the terrible twos and it's normal for them to have fits but I don't want to be afraid to take him out in public. I don't ever see other toddlers throwing fits like his...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 PM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (11)
  • walk away..... yes walk away pay it no mind.. if he drops in the center of the street pick him up firmly throw his but in the car seat and walk away for 2 minutes make like he does not even exist
    MELRN

    Answer by MELRN at 9:14 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Think about verbally transitioning him. "Honey, we have to go in 10 minutes." "Sweetie, another 5 minutes and it's time to leave." It always helped my kids, especially my youngest who, at 5, still needs it.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 9:16 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • But that's whats hard. When he is kicking and flailing himself around I can't pick him up and carry him because he's too big and I'm too small. I literally have to stand there while he lays in the middle of the ground screaming hoping he stops. It's so much easier when my husband is with me but I'm scared to take him anywhere alone.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:16 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I agree with the "verbal transitioning" idea, I use it with my kids and it works. Also, along the same lines tell him what's happening next and distract his attention to focus on something else - ie "now it's time to go eat lunch, would you like a grilled cheese sandwich or peanut butter and jelly?"
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:19 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I am all for picking him up and put him in the car seat and closing the door. I can't imagine not picking my little one up even during a fit I can contain them and hold them against my body so they can no longer kick. For an hour that really is a long time, I would only put up with maybe a minute or two without removing them from the situation.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 9:20 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • The transition thing is VITAL for us. Otherwise, DS throws a fit. But as long as I warn him a few times, and then say, "Ok, last time down the slide!" or "Last throw!" he does just fine. He will usually say "All done!" with me, and then we leave smoothly. They like having that heads up that it's almost time to go, and knowing when it's the last time. We had issues with tantrums until we tried this, and I swear, instantly they stopped. We still have them occasionally, but it's AMAZING how much better he does with this warning. I hope it works as well for you!
    Also, be calm and matter of fact about it. Kids read energy very well, and if you're calm, they're calm (most of the time).
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 9:23 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • i'am mother 5kids when they where small my son jeff would do this all the time ,i would just walk away and yes it is hard but if you don't do it now he will be doing it till he is 30yrs old, lol
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 9:25 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I agree that transitioning is good....but be careful not to turn it into bargaining....when its time to go, it's time to go...I know they are strong especially when flailing, but there are techniques you can learn to hold a child to prevent them from hurting you when you pick them up. and when he learns you mean business, hopefully you won't have to do this long...but here's the thing...if you don't do it now, he will NEVER take you serious....he will always know he has an upper hand over you and it will only get worse. and yes, I've had experience with this...to a much further extreme...not just flailing but agressive and self-abusive. I've also seen my 90-pound cousin 4'11" take on her 2 year old during tantrums at the park....just don't be afraid...jump right in and take control...
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 9:29 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I just want to clarify that I'm not at all downplaying the transitioning techniques....I was just going further than that....transitioning worked very well for my girls, but my son didn't quite get it,.....so I had to do the pick up in the middle of a tantrum, put him in a carseat and get in the car and drive away as if his tantrums didn't bother me....
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 9:33 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • When my son and I leave a place, thing or person he likes, we say good bye to it. Have to leave the park? "Bye bye park." "See you later." ... and we walk away like it's no big deal ('cuz it really isn't).
    JZ10FPM

    Answer by JZ10FPM at 11:20 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

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