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Would you still give him his present...

My husband and I have an "off relationship" sometimes we get along very well and sometimes I just want to strangle him.... i already knew that he is selfish and a jerk... but today I just dont know anymore....

For the last couple of months I have been cleaning houses ( along with my regular job ) , so i could afford to buy him a new wedding ring ( when we first got married we just went out and bought his ring a few weeks before the wedding and he ended up getting on that he didnt really like) ... for years he has talked about wanting to get a thicker one ...

So today I bought it... the one he wanted and he knows nothing about it....... but now I am so mad and i wish I never bought it....

I cleaned other peoples houses for 4 hours, worked my 8 hour job, ( went and bought his ring) came home cleaned our house, made a big supper ( like usual) , bathed all the kids and got them to bed all by myself....

he comes home from his 8 hour office job that he loves, gets a plate of his favorite meal, sits in the chair and gets on the computer, watches tv and goes to bed - oh and I cant forget growling at me and the kids at every sound we make because it will disrupt him from his show.......

and of course I cant forget him calling me lazy for leaving a dish in the sink.......

I just dont know if I can take it anymore... when we first got married he promised me everything...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:28 PM on Dec. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Have you even tried talking to him about helping out more around the house? Don't sit back and do everything yourself, say something.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:31 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • So you are saying that his 'representative' has left and now you are stuck with the 'real' him. You need to talk to him and he needs to realize that his job doesn't stop just because he comes home.

    He still has responsibilities and should be taking care of that.

    Love is an action not words. you both should be showing love. you really need to talk about this.

    I would still give him the ring. I mean nothing has changed from before you bought it to now...he is still acting the same as he was before.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:31 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • I don't know what to tell you, but I wish you luck.
    I am having similar feelings right now in my relationship to be honest...and I do recommend couples counseling.
    If you feel unloved or unbalanced in your relationship, the two of you have to work to fix it.

    ((HUGS))
    boomamma

    Answer by boomamma at 10:31 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • RUN!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • it just seems like the longer we are together the worst he gets.... I have tried talking and begging and I have tried to talk him into counsiling....

    When we were first together I was a SAHM ... and even after I started working his mindset didnt change...

    We have a 12 y/o son with down syndrome ( who has the mindset of a 6 year old ), a 6 year old daughter and 4 year old triplets ( boys ) ! .... He has NEVER done anything with them unless it was fun for him ... and I guess now that I am older and getting tired of it I am realizing how awful it is ..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:39 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Men can be very "thick" sometimes and just don't realize what's going on around them. You need to find a nice quiet time when the two of you can discuss how things are going. Try no to be confrontational but explain that you are feeling overworked and underappreciated. And couples counseling would be a good idea, too. Good luck.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 10:39 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • If he really wants this relationship to work, he will go to a counsilour. if you think that it's the only thing that will work, tell him that he needs to go with you.

    If he doesn't, he isn't willing to admit that he is part of the problem or that he doesn't care. In that case, I would leave him.

    1 person alone cannot fix a relationship. it takes both.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:43 PM on Dec. 7, 2010

  • Wow, I can't believe what I'm seeing on this one! She is in an abusive relationship if not physically, at least mentally and emotionally, which can be just as damaging, and someone tells her to run and everyone votes it down???? Why would anyone tell her to stay and work things out with a man who belittles her, growls at her, doesn't help with the kids or housework, etc? I agree with the RUN comment! I was in your shoes once, minus the kid factor, and it took awhile, but I ran and never looked back and its the best thing I ever did! You don't deserve to be treated like that! NO ONE DOES! He won't change, especially if he isn't even willing to try counseling. Save your money, lean on family, whatever it takes, but honey, you need to make a big change! Think about your kids if nothing else! Think about what they are seeing and feeling from this man! Good luck to you all! And shame on the rest of you for voting down sound advice!
    Indyk

    Answer by Indyk at 4:48 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

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