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Mama drama

I'm an organizer of a mom/play group locally. I am also studying to be a certified nurse midwife. Over the summer, I took a microbiology class, and it got me really fired up about vaccination. I posted something on FB about it, stating that it's a public health issue, and talking about the resurgence of diseases like measles and whooping cough due to declining rates of vaccination and misinformation about the MMR/autism link, among others (not the issue here, please no comments about vaxing or the other specific issues here). Moms in the group that I am friends with, and with whom I've discussed vaccinating (many of them have done their research, and for their own reasons, selectively vax or don't vax) made defensive comments about the post. Then later, when Hyland's teething tablets were recalled, I posted an article about the recall and the dangers of belladonna (as that was what was behind the recall). I got the same moms PO'd at me, saying how they felt targeted. I reminded them that I use the tablets with my own child, and in no way did I mean to offend anyone.
Today, one of them, who has a link connected to the forum on the group website, posted a very one-sided blog against circumcision. I'm not a fan, but that's my choice. The woman who wrote the blog has two daughters, and has never had to make that decision for her children. Another good friend of ours, however, felt attacked, as she chose to circ her two sons, and she was especially PO'd about it after the treatment I got with the posts I made (which were both research based). That's the part that gets me about this, too.
My question is, do I say anything to my friend that posted this blog? Other moms in the group read it as well (we have about 100 local moms in the group), and I know some of them circ. I haven't said anything yet, but I want to say something about considering the parenting choices of our friends, when it comes to something linked to the group. It upset me that they were all over me on FB, which isn't linked to our group site, then this happens on her blog, that IS connected to the site. I realize on blogs (and FB, for that matter) people can post whatever they want. However, one of the goals of our group is to create a safe place for all moms, regardless of their parenting choices (within the law, anyway). Do I say anything?


Asked by musicpisces at 12:17 AM on Dec. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 45 (195,010 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Did you create the group yourself or did someone else do it? If you started the group, you are entitled to decide who is a who isn't being fair to the other parents in the group. Also, everybody is entitled to their opinion. I think some people get carried away with what they say and don't really realize when they truly offend someone. The group owner should remind people of what is and is not acceptable for the group. The first time with a warning and the second time they will not be allowed back in the group. This is why I don't care to use my FB page.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:47 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • If all you had done was post about that there was a recall I don't even begin to see where you did anything wrong.
    As for her doing an attack against circumsicion how odd. It is totally a person choice. I was dead agianst it when we only had a daughter, but once we had a boy my husband insisted on the platform of he was going to be in charge of potty training and he himself was circed so I agreed to his logic and did it, and I confess the difference tome was weird when I had to change him andI felt much better once it was done. But that's personal tangent sorry.
    Um, as for if you are now an owner I'd say that she's entiteld to her opinion but perhaps remove the link to just that post off the group site, or ask her to as you feel it is targetting.

    Answer by JadeRDragosani at 2:53 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • you have the right to your opinion. And you have some additional insight given your career path. But they are just opinions (even if they are soon to be professional options) and people have the right to dismiss or consider your thoughts. I find that when opinions are given, if someone is on the opposite side of the issue, then they feel as if they are being attacked for the decisions they made as a parent. In essence, they feel like the person is saying you harmed your child by the dumb ass decision based on a dumb ass opinion. When the person giving their POV was never suggesting that. When it involves decisions that impact gets heated. So you can either remind them that this is just a discussion and moderate or you can remind them it is just a discussion and give your opinion. But sometimes some people just like the drama.


    Answer by frogdawg at 8:36 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I'm not the one who started the group, but I am one of the original members, and I am now the group owner. After the Hyland's post, they started a thread (her response being the longest, ironically) saying how we need to keep this a safe place for ALL moms, how offended they were, how they shouldn't be judged for their choices, etc. I ended up apologizing profusely, as these are my friends, and in no way did I mean to upset them. I don't think she meant to upset anyone with this post (I agree with most of what she said, in fact), but I can definitely see how people would be offended. I'm contantly walking a tightrope, it seems. Plus, this group o moms within the group is kind of like the "cool moms" (I've been getting invited to the birthday parties and such since before I was the group organizer, so I guess I'm part of the cool group, too), and they can all kind of team up when this stuff comes up.

    Comment by musicpisces (original poster) at 12:54 AM on Dec. 8, 2010