Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do i get my boyfriend to change

i really dont want to leave him hes my childs father but i dont know what to do with him any more he has mega anger problem and curses way to much i keep telling him he needs to change and hes says he will its benn a year what do i do


Asked by Izaclilsunshine at 1:31 AM on Dec. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (95 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • He's not going to change and if he were to make a change it would be because HE wanted it and saw a need for it. You cannot make him do anything. Yes, it sucks he has these problems, but your problem is to decide if you want to live with them or not. Did he really change when the baby came? Possible. Women change when they have babies,men do too, having a baby is a life changing event. He probably had anger problems before but they never really surfaced in your face like they have now. I say it's more important you provide a safe, non-threatening home for you baby than trying to make him do something he doesn't want to do. I am a frim believer it's better to have NO Dad, than a Bad dad.

    Answer by raynestar at 3:06 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • The only person you can change is you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • You have to decide what you can live with. If you cant live with him the way he is, then yes, you should leave. You dont change other people nor can you demand they change...not going to work. I know you wanted some better answer then that but that's all there is to it. One thing I have learned over time...just because you love someone doesn't mean you were meant to be with them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • He's not going to change. His life before you molded him in to the person he is and without professional help he has no clue how to change.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:43 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • i kinda have the same problem as you ! my boyfriend have very bad anger problems and curse to much when he is angry ! but one day i had enough and told him that i am leaving until he can change ! so lately he got better he dont curse as much as he used to and he learned how to control his anger a little better !

    Answer by mrzshanteb23 at 1:36 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • so whatyour saying is i should leave untill he pulls his head out his butt

    Comment by Izaclilsunshine (original poster) at 1:41 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • but he wasent like this befor why can he change once but not agin weve been together 2 years and he wasent like this untill it was time to have the baby

    Comment by Izaclilsunshine (original poster) at 1:50 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • i think you have to talk to him asap and ask him what's the problem...

    Answer by neng999 at 1:50 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • i have been but he keeps telling me theres nothing wrong but if there wa nothing wrong why would he act like an a**

    Comment by Izaclilsunshine (original poster) at 1:52 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • My (now ex) husband wasn't a big ass either at first..or I wouldnt have married him. It just happened over time. Finally I had enough & i had to leave. Best choice I made. Now I am finally happy & he's left in his stupid misery. I convinced him once to go to counseling but he just didnt take it seriously. Refused to see he was being an ass to me & basically just wasted our time & money. He even went to far as to lie to the therapist & try to make me looks stupid because I was concerned he was cheating on me. Turns out he was. I caught him. can try to talk to your guy but if he refuses to talk about stuff, what can you do? You cant make someone talk to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 AM on Dec. 8, 2010