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Makes me soo mad...but I don't know what to do...

My cousin met and started dating a girl in March, she has 2 boys ( 1 & 2 years old ) ... They are now married and expecting another baby in May, my cousin is also in the process of adopting the boys ( their dad gave up his rights) ....

So for the last few months I have been babysitting the boys.... At first I loved it because i also have a toddler son ( plus a 4 year old daughter) and since they are now cousins it was nice to have them play and get along ( and grow up together, since this is really the only time I see them besides on special occasions)...

I will admit I am a doormat ( but working on it ) and I know that their mom knows this... because it is often when I watch them for 12 hours a day ( when I am only suppose to watch them for 6 ) , and she isnt even working but she is at home resting . I also get paid the same amount for no matter how many hours I watch them...

BUT the thing that bugs me the most is that she will send the boys no matter how sick they are ... Yesterday she didnt even work and still sent them ( which she does sometimes) .... but I even had to call her a few times and let her know that they were both sick - both of them threw up and had fevers... but she said it was ok for them to stay since my kids would of already caught whatever it was ( the point was for her to take care of her sick babies)....

She also did this a few weeks ago when they had strep ...

I talk to my aunt ( her mother in law ) almost everyday ( we are close) ... and lately my aunt has even been saying how much she cant stand her because of how she is with the boys and that it is obvious she would rather do anything than spend time with them, and her son ( who honestly only came into their lived months ago) is the one who has to "deal with them" and tell her that they are not coming over when they are sick ...

It makes me mad but i dont know if I should say anything... I only have to watch them this way for a few more weeks and then my cousins work schedule changes and I will only have to watch the youngest for a little during the day ( they are sending the oldest to day care....) .... and since I know it is him who will be doing the dropping off and picking up I dont think I will have these same problems...

I just wish we didnt need the money so bad .....

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:13 AM on Dec. 8, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (13)
  • Speak up girl and tell her what bugs you!
    older

    Answer by older at 8:15 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I agree. Let her know how you feel about it!
    elffyefli

    Answer by elffyefli at 8:19 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Sit her down and put things in writing! Make up a contract. Family or not contracts are great for organization and communication. Tell her how you feel and let her know that you love to help but sometimes you feel like you are being taken advantage of. Write down the things that you feel should be the rules and present her with them. There are always nice ways to do things. And doing this now before the new baby will help a great deal. Who knows what kind of stress shell have you under when shes either dropping all three off or just the boys so she can spend more time with the new one. GL and be firm
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:23 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • And daycare or not you may get stuck when you least expect it
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:24 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Sorrry you are agoing through this....sucks....maybe you need to talk with your bro about not taking them when they are sick...you dont want your own kids sick!
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 8:27 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • When they start going to daycare they will not be able to send them when they get sick, so they shouldnt be doing it now. Inform them of this and that while you don't mind watching them that you can not watch them while they are sick or longer than you are supposed to unless asked first. If she doesn't like it she can get over it or watch them on her own all the time.
    jnd951999

    Answer by jnd951999 at 8:38 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Let her know that when her children are sick, she needs to step up to the plate and be a mother to them. It may cause some hurt feelings, but it's better than letting yourself be a doormat.
    leomommy1325

    Answer by leomommy1325 at 8:47 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I agree, write up a contract. You need to be paid an hourly rate per child & need to have a sick child policy.
    SaraBeth1204

    Answer by SaraBeth1204 at 3:03 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I can understand the money, but she is doing this only cause people are letting her do it.

    Its rare to find people that want to do this hard work. I'm a huge control freak so when my son is having any issues I hate to be away from him. Plus I have a hard time trusting most people.

    But I have seen this with so many other people, and alot of people are lazy when it comes to there kids, its why the daycares are so full. Either make her pay hourly or drop her kids off when the time is over with.
    whoreallycares

    Answer by whoreallycares at 5:49 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • You need to get a backbone. Tell them that you will start charging extra for extra hours and DO IT! Don't take them when they are sick no matter what.
    vicki77433

    Answer by vicki77433 at 9:18 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

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