There's nothing 'wrong' with my daughter, as far as things that would normally make a kid unpopular. She is reasonably pretty, smells fine, wears nice clothing, but she is very shy, naive, a little awkward, and very emotionally immature. It's not that she is bullied by anyone, she is just ignored. The only other girls who want to be her friend are the domineering girls who just want someone they can control. She doesn't have any friends in her class at school. She is in a Girl Scout troop and none of those girls seem to want to socialize with her. Again it's not that they dislike her, they just ignore her. She doesn't get invited for playdates. I have tried to help in a non-meddling way, mentioning to other moms that we should try to plan a playdate for example. Nothing is helping.
Now my daughter seems to be really suffering from esteem problems. She feels like no one likes her because something is wrong with her. I have talked w/ her extensively about it but it's not getting through. The rejection is really taking a toll on her. But it's also starting to cause her to 'play the victim' and that is really annoying. It's like she's given up on trying so it's just "oh poor me, everybody hates me, wah wah wah". I am going back and forth between feeling heartbroken for her and feeling completely frustrated with her. I am at my wits end. Any advice? Anyone been through this?
Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Dec. 8, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)
Answer by Tracys2 at 9:16 PM on Dec. 8, 2010
You mentioned your daughter was in Girl Scouts and I'm guessing she is probably a brownie or a junior. Maybe if she were to help out a daisy troop for a little while it would make her the "big" girl and might give her the confidence she needs to be a little more assertive. Good luck (c:
Answer by scout_mom at 11:03 AM on Dec. 8, 2010
Answer by spottedpony at 11:07 AM on Dec. 8, 2010
Answer by FXmomTo3 at 11:08 AM on Dec. 8, 2010
Answer by bseastrand at 11:08 AM on Dec. 8, 2010
Answer by Ctink8189 at 11:09 AM on Dec. 8, 2010
Answer by charlottej at 11:11 AM on Dec. 8, 2010
Answer by happy2bmom25 at 11:20 AM on Dec. 8, 2010
Answer by samurai_chica at 11:31 AM on Dec. 8, 2010
I was a ridiculously shy kid so much to the point where I was 11 and still would not go to the counter at McDonalds and ask for a ketchup. Not anymore though I am more of the the comic relief in the group but I do still pull back into my shell when I am in large groups. I wish my parents would have pushed me to do more and make me do something rather than catering to me to be so introverted. I agree with getting her and keeping her involved with peers her age. I disagree with having a party that may give the wrong idea that friendship can be bought and that's only a one day event then its over.
Answer by SueAnd2 at 3:05 PM on Dec. 8, 2010
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