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4 Bumps

My very mature 3 year old is having self esteem issues?

My little girl is suddenly having some issues with how she views herself. Yesterday after lunch, she was offered a cookie and went absolutely hysterical smashing the cookie up in her hands, insisting that she couldn't have any cookies because they would make her too chubby. And then at dinner, she also refused a cookie and instead took a second helping of food, and said she didn't want to be too skinny. She is by no means under or overweight. Does anyone have some good tips to help me help her get over this sudden change?


Asked by JeromysBabe at 11:19 AM on Dec. 8, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (10)
  • Well she is three she has to be getting this negative body image from somewhere - either something she is watching or something you are doing or an older sibling. I would say think of what you may have said in front of her that may have incouraged this behavior also look for other influences that may have encouraged this. A big one is that many parents who state their children are "mature" think that they can allow inappropriate overly mature television shows. I am not saying this is true but if it is many of the shows that are directed to teens may negatively influence a child hell they do half the teens that watch them.

    Answer by daisysrdeadly at 11:23 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Where is she learning this behavior??

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:20 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Sounds like someone around her has a very negative self body image, and shes picking up on it. Could it be her babysitter?

    Answer by bseastrand at 11:25 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Have you tried talking to her about it? Explain that our bodies are special & we need to keep them healthy & that means eating good foods. Explain that our bodies tell us when we are full & it is important to listen to our bodies. Let her know that it is ok to have two cookies occasionally but it would be bad to eat cookies all the time. She seems really smart. Even if you do figure out where she got this from, you can't make her un-hear it at this point so you need to figure out how to handle it.

    Answer by SaraBeth1204 at 2:23 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I have no idea. I have always tried to be very careful about what is said around her. I'm wondering if maybe she overheard something from an grandparent/aunt/uncle/friend?

    Comment by JeromysBabe (original poster) at 11:23 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I'm thinking I'm going to have to have that awkward talk with the people she spends the most time with, lol....I guess as much as I try she's gonna be exposed to/hear things I don't want her to. I'm just trying to figure out the best way to not make this a big deal to her, and yet help to feel good about herself.

    Comment by JeromysBabe (original poster) at 11:28 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I don't think it's the TV though. We don't have cable, and anything that we let her watch on the computer, is very carefully chosen, as well as any bought or rented movies.

    Comment by JeromysBabe (original poster) at 11:38 AM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • When she says those things ask her where did you hear that or who says/said that? Ya know the old saying "out of the mouths of babes" she'll probably tell you the source.

    Answer by NaturalMomOfTwo at 2:28 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I agree, ask her why she thinks those things, she'll likely tell you.

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 4:02 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Troll?
    Your daughter is around some very unhealthy people.

    Answer by boomamma at 11:34 PM on Dec. 8, 2010