Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

When you go out with someone new...

...what do you do so you don't put out the friend vibe? Do you know what I mean?

There's a guy I'm interested in and we are going out this weekend, but at the end of the date, I don't want him to view me as someone that he can see only as a friend. I also don't believe in casual sex before I've been dating someone for 4-5 months. What can I do to avoid him seeing me as "just a friend" and what can I do to ensure that he sees me as something more? What can I do to sort of "reel him in"...if that makes sense?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Dec. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I don't know. I haven't been out with someone new in 15 years.

    Answer by Snewo at 12:39 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Man it has been 38 years I have done this, but I would make sure, I give him a taste, (kiss) to remember me by...........

    Answer by older at 12:40 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I guess I would be a little flirty and make some refrences that would lead him to believe you are interested- nothing too serious or sexual. I would also play a little hard to get, don't call or text him everyday, if he's interested he'll call you! Good luck!!

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:44 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • How about just be honest and tell him how you feel? Something along the lines of, "I really like you. I don't want you to view me as just a friend and I'm excited to get to know you. So that you understand me up-front, I'm really not into casual sex."

    Playing anything (hard to get, etc.) doesn't set up a good foundation for a relationship. He's going to respect your honesty and will be more likely to be honest with you. If he's only going on this date for the hope of casual sex, you'll cut your losses quick. If you are honest, you'll know quickly if he's a quality guy worth your investment of time and emotion.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 12:52 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I would suggest smiling a lot and showing an interest in him in your conversations. Encourage him to talk about himself. See if he is open to future plans like dates. If he is really shy, it might take some time for him to get the hint that you like him. Some guys are just that way and the woman needs to be obvious (not with sex but with conversation).

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 1:15 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I afree with Dr.Donna to a degree, I dont know if I would mention sex on the first day! being honest is a great way to go, but there is such thing as too honest too soon! Telling him your not going to sleep with him that fast on the first date, to me would make him assume that you feel thats all he wanted in the first place. Feel him out, if you get to a point that you feel the physical may be coming soon, just let him know you plan on taking it slowly! :) Make sure your out of friend land before you mention what your not gonna be giving up!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 3:32 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I agree with Dr.Donna... i got bluntly honest and told the man i am with now how i felt and wasn't into the dating game, not that i wanted marriage but like commitiment better than dating many men at once, i told him i enjoyed the time i had with him and how much fun he was. I was brutally honest and i have to say it did pay off. i have found that men like honesty better than the game, If they are a "one women man" and if they are mature. Honesty is the best policy. Just be yourself and be honest. If this guy wants something more i am sure he will be calling you back for more fun. also keep sex out of it, no better way to show a man you respect yourself and your don't mess around by not falling into temptation of sex. ;).. good luck and just have fun, be yourself!

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 4:16 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.