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Am I think only one who thinks this is a bit off....

I have always been of the mind that when you purchase a gift for your kids that you purchase something special to THEM... not try to fill a dollar requirement.

I keep seeing posts about spending X amount on each child. I think that is simply ridiculous. If my son loves legos ($30) and my daughter loves American girl ($80)... why should I purchase 2 gifts for my son just because my daughters gift costs more???? The only thing the kids are going to know is that my son got TWO gifts and my daughter ONE.

I think all this trying to be monetarily equal is just silly and have never understood it. When they are little they do not know the prices of things... and when they are older they should understand that gift giving comes from the heart and not the pocketbook. When they are old enough to know the prices they should have learned by then that the gift giver is giving something they think the recipient would like/need.... not trying to price out every little thing.

I think it is silly and sends the wrong message.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Dec. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I am 31 and my sister is 27, my mom still has an equal number of gifts for us at Christmas which we always tease her about, but she wants to be fair. I guess if I saw my sister got diamond earrings and I got something cheap I might be kind of offended, but if we are both getting things we want or that were thought of for us then it never occurs to me to compare values of our gifts.

    For my holiday shopping I generally set a budget of what I can afford to spend per person and go from there- if someone wants something and it is less than the budgeted amount I don't feel obligated to buy them something else, and if I go a little over on someone then that's ok, too. For my three nephews I try to get what they ask for if it's in my budget but I think they want the toy and don't care or have any idea how much it costs. And my DD is only two so she is way too young to have any idea of cost and has no siblings to compare with.

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:03 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I think it makes sense. Kids see inequality if it's there. I wouldn't give my son a Porsche when he's 16 and give my daughter a little economy car - that would just be unfair. And why should my son only get $30 worth of toys when his sis is getting $80?? I try to make sure that my kids gifts are equal in monetary value and at least close in number, but at their ages (9 and 10) it's more for me than them - so I know that I spent equally.

    Answer by missanc at 12:46 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I must say I try to make sure there is the same number of gifts under the try for each child. I also try to stay within the same dollar amount for each child. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. As my kids have gotten older and my oldest wants things that are more expensive I have talked to him and said "If that is what you really want you can have that, but you might not have as many gifts as your brother and sister." I think we have always set a budget for how much we want to spend on each child.

    It is okay that you don't agree with that, we all do what is best for us.

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 1:11 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I don't necessarily try to match by $ amount, but by gift count.

    Answer by motherofpearls at 12:44 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • missanc... but you just said that is for YOU not for them. I agree with the car... though Im not giving my kids cars at all they must earn those... if one earns a bmw and the other a used honda... so be it... it came from THIER efforts. But I am just trying to point out that this whole season is out of control. The kids dont KNOW what each gift costs.... but they do know if one sib get MORE gifts.


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:51 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • We didn't spend exactly the same on each kid, but we did try to keep it fair. We had a budget for our total Christmas shopping for each kid and stuck to that. It was more dictated by our finances than by whether or not the kids would notice if their gifts cost more or less.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 12:52 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Example - my 16 yr old is getting 4 gifts = $480, 13 yr old son is getting 4 gifts = $260... they each are getting EXACTLY what they requested.


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:54 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • ❤¸.•*""*•.¸we try to make sure the gifts are equal ..under the tree some are alittle more in price for my oldest but that's expected...the little one's do not understand that so it's not a problem..they all get something they desire that's all that matter's to me is seeing them smile and sooo happy on christmas day opening gifts!!

    Answer by gracelessstar21 at 12:55 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I buy according to number, because they count them and compare to see how many each got.

    Answer by sweet29mom at 12:56 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I grew up in a family where favoritism was rampant. I am not going to do that to my kids. We don't go nuts over it and tally everything up to the penny, but they are all in the same $$$ range, plus or minus $10. I agree that kids do perceive inequality and I don't want any of them to feel more or less valued than the others.


    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:03 PM on Dec. 8, 2010