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what should i do if my son's father doesnt want to help out even he's on child support but doesnt want to pay it and his mom keeps calling the cops on us even when she starts its and this isnt fair to my son help

and yet we want us to work but if him and his mom keep acting like this i might lose my son cause of her and im trying to do whats right and yet they mess me up and the only on hurt as my son and his dad just now doesnt want to help me with him

And ive been with my son father sents i was 16 and yet i do what i can and we try to get along cause we do love each other when its just me and him with our son and he say he wants to be here  and then how he acts say different when where around his mom and it hurts his dad with heart problems and now we cant  try  cause of him and his mom acting the way they do

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moma21844

Asked by moma21844 at 2:04 PM on Dec. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Don't deal with him or his mother directly. Take him to court and make it known to the court that he is fighting you on paying child support. Going through the legal system is the smart option, as you don't have to deal with any of the drama the mother and him bring. The court will also mandate that he pays and when he pays, even if they have to take it straight from his paycheck. Just let the mother do whatever it is she feels is right, even if it's not, and ignore her. Deal with only the court system and through that the father of your child.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:12 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • KEEP a journal of all claims his mother makes against you.. get a bin to hold everything they say about you. ( are their claims false?) If they're not I don't know there's much to help you. keep voice mails, letters, emails, keep all police reports.

    Typically judges in family court like to keep the children with their parents. Maybe you could initiate a custody proceeding?

    You can take a person to small claims court for making false alegations about you like calling DCFS all the time, etc. That's damaging your character.

    You just keep doing right, hold your job, tend your kid/kids and then nothing can take them away from you. Good luck. I do know a bit about family law, I took some college classes with an actual judge that handles custody battles. So you can always message me. I'll share what I know and if I don't know an answer I'll be upfront.

    Good luck
    Skepticchick

    Answer by Skepticchick at 2:14 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • i would take him to court i guess. personally i dont believe in the court system, my twins dad does not do anything for them so i just let it go, and told him that i dont want his money and that he can sign off his rights. but with your situation i would go to court, let the judge know that he hasnt been paying his support, and that his mother and/or him has been causing problems and then list what those problems are. just make sure you keep it together when you go in there otherwise they wont take you seriously. and if i read right it said you were trying to work things out, but from an outside oppinion it doesnt really seem like he wants to, otherwise he wouldnt be puttin g you and your son through all that.
    michelle.coppes

    Answer by michelle.coppes at 2:20 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • They can't take your son unless they can find proof that you have harmed him. Don't speak to the dad's mom and don't bother speaking to him if he won't pay. Just keep turning him in to CS and let them handle it. He can go to jail or lose his driver's license. That will get his attention.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:36 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Don't deal with either of them. Can't you get it so the child support checks come to you from the courts? Or does that end up costing you $? You have nothing to talk to his mother about. File harassment charges against her. If she's making false claims about you, and it's causing you distress, that's harassment. Document everything. And keep it all in a safe place. Audio or video tape would be great, too. Even if it can't be used, because of them not knowing they are being taped, if you use it to show a judge their CHARACTER, that could help you.
    If you mean you are trying to make things work with your child's father, I'd give up on that one. He's obviously not worth it. And the baggage, his mother, is not worth it either. He's making your life miserable, and he doesn't seem to be a good dad, (by his actions) much less good DH material. Cut ties with them both, except for getting the child support.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 2:37 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

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