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how do i tell my son that his dad has passed away?

you see my ex fience got in a really bad car accident and passed away on the spot, i want to tell james but idont knowhow to.

 
super_mom1987

Asked by super_mom1987 at 2:13 PM on Dec. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (26 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Sit down with your son & tell him the truth--that there was a bad accident & his dad died. Share whatever personal/religious beliefs you hold (whether that is heaven or whatever you believe). Let your son ask whatever questions he wants. And don't be upset if your son seems to brush it off. Death is a hard thing to process& sometimes kids need time & space to do it in their own way. Let your son know that you love him & he can talk to you. Also, if services are planned, let your son know what to expect from that experience. I'm so sorry for your loss & wish you all the best.
    SaraBeth1204

    Answer by SaraBeth1204 at 2:16 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • How old is your child?
    twin_mommy

    Answer by twin_mommy at 2:14 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I think you just have to be honest with him - tell him straight and really, just be there for him
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:14 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Just be striaght with him. Make sure he knows your there for him, even though you two were divorced.
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 2:14 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I am so sorry. How old is your son? You just have to tell him out right but there are some good books on death and coping with it just find one that is age appropiate for him.
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 2:18 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • How old is your son?
    What was their relationship like?

    Those two things would play a part in how I would tell my son.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:18 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • There is no easy, good, or right way of doing this. How old he is is a really big factor. Also, what kind of relationship they had is a big factor. Either way, you have to be honest with him. I do know from experience that the older they are, the harder they seem to take it and they want more answers. If your son is younger, then just tell him gently and let him ask whatever questions he wants to. Let him take the lead after you tell him. Don't tell him more than he wants to know. I do know that the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be on you, and they may be more upset with you. Good luck to you and your son. My heart goes out to both of you.
    Treefrog64

    Answer by Treefrog64 at 2:25 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • There is no good or easy way to deal with death. However, in my experience it is best to get it out quickly and straightforward. Then spend a lot of time listening, comforting, being willing to be yelled at for being the messenger, and remembering good things about the person who died. It is very important to make sure the child left behind knows that it is okay to grieve, to be angry at the person who died, at God, at the ambulance personnel, at you, at everyone. We all go through the same basic stages of grief. But we may be in them for shorter or longer periods of time than others: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. You may find your son having guilt feelings, anxiety, possibly some regression issues. It is very likely that he may use play to act out death, dying, the wake and funeral. He may also have behavioral problems and disrupt family routines for a time. My condolences to you!
    ChezBelle

    Answer by ChezBelle at 2:41 PM on Dec. 8, 2010