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How do I react to my evil sister in law & her husband???

My husband's sister is evil. Her and her husband are very well off and they believe it gives them the right to act however they like. They came to my daughter's 6th bday party on Saturday where we decorated gingerbread houses (all 15 baked and assembled by myself). They complained about not having enough food so I had to order pizza. They complained about it being too cold in my house - although no one else did - so I turned up the heat. My sister in law made rude comments about me to my friends behind my back. Her husband sat at the kid's table dropping the F Bomb as well as other colorful language. He told my neighbor that her 3 year old son looked ridiculous sucking on his fingers and told the little boy that his fingers were going to rot off - like it was his business. He'd never met her before the party. He also "playfully" asked a 5th grader out on a date - several times throughout the day. I'm still waiting to hear from her parents. I'm sure it will happen. When it came time to leave they refused to allow the kids to take home their gingerbread houses and told me to throw them away. She knew they were going to decorate them before coming and that I had spent 3 days baking and assembling them. All four of her children left crying because of it with her yelling at them and him telling them to stop acting like babies.

This was 3 hours with them and I didn't even tell you EVERYTHING, just to give you an idea of what I go through on a regular basis. I can not get them out of my life but do not know how to deal with them in my life. I want to come out the bigger, better person in this and only have 2 weeks to deal with it before I see them again at the family holiday party. My husband is supportive of me and realizes how badly they acted but it is his only sister and he doesn't have much family. He doesn't want to severe the relationship with her but doesn't know how to handle them either. I have never been so hurt, offended, angered, embarrassed in my life by anyone IN MY OWN HOUSE. I just don't know what to do or what to say to mend the situation. I obviously can not change their behavior so I have to find a way to let them know that it will not be tolerated.

Any suggestions??

Answer Question
 
jennifer_95

Asked by jennifer_95 at 3:08 PM on Dec. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Oh boy :(. How does your husband feel about this or does he just not see it? If it was me........I would distance myself from them. Invite the kids over and even volunteer to pick them up and drop them off so you arent obligated to visit. I would of told the BIL to stop swearing in front of the children, tht his behavior with the 5th grader was border line gross and I would of told the sister in law that if she wanted pizza that there was a pizza hut down the road, go eat............but thats just me lol.
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 3:13 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • My suggestion would be that if YOU must deal with them in your life, you could do it privately and not force anyone else to deal with them too. What do I mean? Either don't invite them into your home at all, or invite them separately from things you do with other friends. Have a party for your friends to attend, and then have a lunch or dinner where you invite these family members and no one you want to keep as a friend.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 3:14 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I would stop inviting them and I would stop being around them period. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior anywhere and especially not in someone else's home. Tell your hubby that you all need to find another family who has no close relatives and you all become extended family for each other. And be sure you tell his sister what you are doing and why. Sometimes, people just need to be told the truth about themselves, even if they are family. And you do not owe it to them to allow them to ruin your parties, your fun, and your holidays. Tell them that when they won't to act like family, you might reconsider.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:14 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • PS........if the little girls parents call demanding an explanation which I would not blame them if they did.......I would give them your BIL cell phone number and let him explain why he opted to do what he did.
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 3:14 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Why do we put up with people like this in our lives? Just because they are "family" does not give them the right to treat you this way. Explain (gently) to your husband that he does not have to allow his sister and her family to be part of your lives. Have him talk to her and explain that if they can't act like decent people when they are at your home, then they won't be welcome there anymore. Sharing some DNA doesn't give anyone the right to be an ignorant b$tch.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 3:17 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Wow, they sound like real pieces of work. Sorry =( I understand that your husband doesn't want to cut his sister out of his life, but you don't have to be around her. As for the BIL, do what mistynights234 said, give them your BIL cell phone number and let him explain why he opted to do what he did.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 3:18 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Jeebus. Uh, they would never be allowed in my home again, relation or not.
    Fawn80

    Answer by Fawn80 at 3:20 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I would not invite them ever again. I hate people who r stuck up snobs and thinks their shit don't stink. I would not put up with it. U r not obligated to invite her so don't. Why put yourself and guests as well as your family members through it?
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 3:21 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Exclude family from friends. I had absolutely no problems doing that. I also was lucky since I am the youngest and all the nieces and nephews are a lot older and live 2 hours away. But definitely cut that party nonsense out with them. It does not work..........
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 3:21 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I understand that this is your husbands only sister and he doesn't want to ruin the relationship but honestly how much of a relationship do they have? If they are this disrespectful to both you and him in your home then I can't think of it being any good at all. I'd stop inviting them to things and if they ask why just tell them right out. Hopefully it'll be a wake up call and they'll realize how horrible their actions are.
    CraftyKnittyMom

    Answer by CraftyKnittyMom at 3:23 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

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