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How would you handle this?

My mother is constantly telling family and friends I never feed my children. That I stick them to a tight schedule and they aren't allowed to eat between meals. That is FAR from the truth. My two kids eat more then their serving sizes and I give them snacks in between meals when they ask.
When they go to my mother house (which is maybe once every other week) She spoils them with junk. Gives them candy, marshmallows, gummies, chips, anything unhealthy she'll give them) She even tries to give them soda such as pepsi and coke. They are only 3 and 1. That's the reason why I dont go there often because my children don't need that shit but it's starting to get to me how she tells people I never feed my children. That they aren't allowed to have a certain amount of food. Now the rest of my family looks down on me and sneaks my kids stuff when ever we go near family or family friends. I've talk to my mother about this but she doesn't care that she's making me look like a bad mother.

 
mommy_of_two388

Asked by mommy_of_two388 at 3:18 PM on Dec. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 43 (154,356 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Do not feel bad about the food. YOur doing what you think is right for you kids. As for telling people you do not feed them I would not let it bother you cause if people see your kids they would be able to tell if they were not eating or not. As for the coke and snacks to much is to much and I agree with you. I would see if can talk to her or maybe pack them their own food.Hang in there I know hard but if you think your doing what is right for your kids stick to your guns.
    momindiana

    Answer by momindiana at 3:23 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Well, YOU KNow that you are feeding them - thats what Matters, Yeah it would piss me off very badly but you know the truth and when others try to do that, remind them loudly they are not ALOUD to have THAT much junk food- that is ok - you are their mom. Good luck!~
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:24 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • To be honest, and of course it's easier said than done, you shouldn't care what she tells people as long as you know the truth. My daughter is small for her age, but has a super fast metabolism so even though she eats a lot- it's very hard for her to gain weight (she's 2 1/2). EVERY time we fly home and visit my parents, everyone tells me I don't feed her enough and it's my fault she's so small. There was nothing I could do but suck it up (and of course I told them I disagreed). It wasn't until we stayed there once for extended time that they saw she DOES eat. Anyway, not the same situation, but I feel your pain. As far as the junk food- I'm come at your Mom with legit health facts about obesity in this country and how horrible it is for her to give your kids that, and soda?!?!?! That's the number one cause of cavities in children under 5. Good luck!!!
    lexi8622

    Answer by lexi8622 at 3:36 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I would make it very clear about the things that your children are and aren't allowed to have. That it is nobody else's choice but yours as to what your children are allowed to have. You need to be firm about letting her know her place. That because they don't get junk food that doesn't mean they're not being fed. That is what she sees as "Being fed" apparently, the junk food. You need to also let other family members know that your mother thinks this way, but that isn't the reality of the situation. Your children are healthy, I figure, and of proper weight, so nobody should judge you. Just be straight, firm and up front about how you feel. Don't dance around it. If they don't agree still, then you don't need to go over there anymore.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:00 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • When your mother tries to give them things you don't like put your foot down. Let her know that YOU are the mother and decide what they're allowed to have. That she is not allowed to decide for you. If she throws a fit then let her know that she had her chance to raise a child and that your kids are not her second chance. That you are the only parent (aside from their father) who has the say-so.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:01 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I wouldn't give a shit what she tells people...they are your kids and I know your not feeding them but if you were just giving them bread and water three times a day...they are your kids...if they are healthy...who gives a shit! Keep them away from her and everyone else that's working against you and turn a deaf ear.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 6:47 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Don't take your kids over there any more?
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 3:19 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • She'll still tell family I don't feed them. I haven;'t been over there since Halloween.
    mommy_of_two388

    Comment by mommy_of_two388 (original poster) at 3:22 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • There's no way you'll get her to stop saying that. She admits she doesn't care that she's lying to family.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 3:23 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

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