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Am I being unreasonable

Lately my husband and I have been fighting because he insists on playing his guitar at least 1 hour a night. I find this very annoying as he plays right after dinner, leaving me to watch our 2,4 and 8 year old, clean up and finish up homework. He gets very angry if I ask for his help or ask him to stop, then he complains if I am in a bad mood because I had to watch 3 boys and do all the night time chores. I then put the kids to bed and usually its late so I go right to bed and get no time for myself. He never gives me time and gets really mad if I suggest him giving up this time so we can do mutual chores like shopping. Am I being unreasonable. We both work and I actually make quite a bit more money than him. I feel I am entilled to some help at night and the boys would like more time with their father. Any suggestions?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on Nov. 6, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Is there any other time he can play? Maybe suggest a different time, and tell him that you really could use your help with the kids, and they would enjoy having a few minutes with him, ect. But I don't think it's unreasonable for him to want an hour for himself. Of course, if he gets that hour, you should get an hour too. ;) Compromise and coem up with something.

    Answer by mrseum at 8:34 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • It doesn't seem like 1 hour is that long.... like watching the kids for only and hour. I don't understand the part about puttin them to bed and all that. You made it seem like he spends hours playing. I think 1 hour is good but other than that, if it's a bad time... just tell him

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 8:38 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • NO WAY are you being unreasonable. I went through the same thing, except it was a'band' (non gig, non paying.. just for fun). He works 2 jobs, I am a full time student, mother to a toddler, and pregnant. One of our only two nights a week we had time to spend together he wanted to have 3 hours band practice. ... um, no. I needed hlep, i needed time with my husband. I was soo lonely and stressed. A lot of people toild me I was being unreasonable, but i didnt see it. I NEVER had a break, and he got band practice? no....
    Time for a big talk.. ours was way ugly, but.. it worked.. what you need to try and do is get him to make the decision to help you, and play less guitar. good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • Maybe suggest to him to do it certain nights. Explain to him exactly as you did here. No 1 hour doesn't seem like much but when you dont get home until late, then cook dinner, eat, give baths to kids, and put them to bed, you are exhausted and that's just not fair. Maybe suggest that ya"ll could take turns doing the chores. He plays his guitar 3 nights a week. You tak long baths and pamper yourself 3 nights a week. Then the 7th day you spend completely as family. GL!

    Answer by crazybeautifulh at 8:59 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. You're gonna have to talk to him and come up with a compromise.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

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