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Estranged Nephew, advice? (sorry, long)

So my brother doesn't know how to wear a is apparent by the approximately 10 children he has, (all by different moms except the last two mind you..)

Well, child number 2 or 3, (We'll call him Eric) is about 7 years old. I only saw him for a few months after he was born, and haven't seen him since. His mother recently found me on myspace and facebook, and gave me all kinds of trouble for not keeping in touch (I don't drive, and didn't know her last name, nor my nephew's last name so I couldn't look them up) not sending cards, gifts etc when his birthday and christmas rolled around. I asked her for his full name, and their address, and sent him a birthday card with a few dollars in it which went totally unacknowledged.

She keeps trying to get info on my brother from me. I don't feel that it's any of her business. She told my brother she didn't want him to have anything to do with his son, and well, it's obvious that he's not a very good father (though he's been trying to be the last few years.) so he left her alone. I know he can't afford child care for even one of his children, let alone all of them. (We're not on speaking terms because of his idiocy, but he's my brother and I love him. Please don't bash him.) I'm afraid she's just trying to get info from me so she can get child support from him.

Anyway, so now she's asking me for a christmas present for my nephew, which I can't afford to send right now. I have a 3yo and one on the way, and christmas is just too expensive. I've cut corners in every way I can just to get gifts for my immediate family. I feel like a christmas card should be enough for an estranged nephew and his mother. Is this unfair of me? I don't even know if he got the money I sent him for his birthday (because last I knew his mom was a druggy.) so I don't want to send something he's not even going to get. What would you do? Am I being unfair to my nephew? I do love him, but I wouldn't even know what to send..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on Dec. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • It's not rude of you at all she shouldn't be demanding presents

    Answer by Heidikans at 7:57 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Is it possible to have contact with your nephew?? Even if you can't buy gifts maybe you could hang out?? And I don't blame her for trying to get child support....

    Answer by skittles1108 at 8:57 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • We live too far away for visiting (They're about two hours away, and I don't drive) I'd love to visit with him, but when I asked if she'd be able to make the trip sometime she jumped to me taking my nephew overnight. I don't think I'd feel comfortable taking a strange child in overnight without at least meeting him...I haven't seen him since he was an infant.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:05 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

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