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What is so wrong about getting

revenge against a cheating spouse and his whore?

I posted that I did and what I did and I have some stupid troll trying to knock me for it but alas, I am beyond proud and wish I could have done worse.

 
ShouldHaveLeft

Asked by ShouldHaveLeft at 8:05 PM on Dec. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,621 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (48)
  • A counselor (which I am) will validate your feelings. That is not a judgment. It does not make your actions moral or immoral. It is a therapists role to validate the feelings of the client. The feelings, not the actions. Given the things you're expressing here this evening, you might benefit from more than just talk therapy. Do you have a CBT practitioner? Or a DBT therapist? What steps are you actually taking to improve your future. No counselor is going to fix this for you. It isn't the counselor's job to fix this. It is your job. And it is, as so many others have said, your responsibility to make a better life for yourself. One other little fact: "venting" does not provide a catharsis despite what many think. Venting is rarely recommended, as it generally serves to increase (not decrease) negative feelings. On this website? Your choice seems to be isolating. Perhaps you want to push them away - before they reject you
    lovesergei

    Answer by lovesergei at 9:04 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • If you have to ask, you wouldn't get it.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 8:12 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • beyond proud and wishing you'd done worse - you might want to be considering a mental health evaluation. What you did was nothing to be proud of and not really something a mentally stable person would have done. Additionally, the fact that someone disagreed with you? Does not make them a troll.
    jinxandjoy

    Answer by jinxandjoy at 8:15 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Of course ... because 2 wrongs make a right.

    You know, I lost my husband a few years back. He died unexpectedly and it's been a long hard road for my family. But right now? I'm sitting here feeling deeply thankful for the my ability to move on from difficulties in healthy, positive, intelligent ways. My life, in large part due to my own choices, is good.
    findingharmony

    Answer by findingharmony at 8:20 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • So you're in a bad situation, and you choose to stay in a bad situation. That's a great lesson for the kids. I'm wondering how thrilled you'll be when they make that same choice ... after all, they're learning about relationships from you.

    If you don't like it, leave. Staying is your choice, sure he might have cheated ... but get real. Even if he caused the problem? You're the one chosing to stay in that problem!
    snivic

    Answer by snivic at 8:32 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • So? Choose to stop being bitter. Choose to move forward. Choose to be healthy. Choose to be positive. Choose to have good things in your life. Choose your own future, instead of playing victim to your past.

    But for land's sake, grow up! To proclaim that you're proud of your behavior? Is incredibly immature ... among other things.
    missingruth

    Answer by missingruth at 8:25 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • What is "wrong" about getting revenge? It's unproductive. It's immature. It's doing something wrong to spite the person who did you wrong. It's lowering yourself to his level ... or below. It's stupid. It's a waste of time. It's a waste of energy. It's unhealthy. It's poor role modeling. It's poor teaching. Need I go on?
    And what makes you think it is your job to teach them a lesson? Let life teach them a lesson. Move on. Leave them to their miserable existence and move on.
    I don't think it's your "troll" who's behaving stupidly. Find a mirror. And stop throwing stones - here and in real life.
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 8:50 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Clearly you're not ready to have a brighter future, and that's ok. Your progress is up to you. One parting thought: if your revenge "feels good to the core", you really should consider different or additional help. It is much needed. I wish you the best of luck.
    lovesergei

    Answer by lovesergei at 9:06 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • LOL! Yes, a mental health eval DEFINITELY sounds like a good idea!
    Gaccck

    Answer by Gaccck at 8:22 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Well, if disagreement make me a troll, then I'm a troll. I think you're completely wrong. Actually, it's pretty sickening to hear that you're "proud" of your choice. And I totally agree with those suggesting that a mental health agency might be of some help. If you don't like your situation, change it. And who cares if she's done this before? Who died and made you hall monitor? Shouldn't your priority be your own life and the lives of your children? Shouldn't you be concerned with making healthy and intelligent choices, not concerned with some other idiot. The only idiot you need to be concerned about is you.

    yoliplus6

    Answer by yoliplus6 at 8:39 PM on Dec. 8, 2010