Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Should I make my daughter stop calling her stepfather dad?

Her real dad has been back in her life for about three months now. we live on opposite sides of the country. He was so glad about finding us and wanting to be in her life until he found out that she calls my husband dad. Now he refuses to have anything to do with her and wont pay child support until she stops calling him dad and calls him by his name. I don't think that's fair because my husband has been in her life since she was 1. Which one of us is being unrealistic? Should i tell her to stop calling him dad or should her dad get over it?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Dec. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (21)
  • NO her real dad hasn't been a real dad until 3 months ago. He needs to earn that title. Plus a child can have more then 2 dads or 2 moms. My stepson calls me dad and he calls his stepdad dad. There is no issue in it.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 8:11 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Your husband has been there and your dd's father hasn't. The bio dad is just going to have to get over not having that kind of role in her life, it's his fault he chose not to be there. And the state can make him pay child support regardless of how petty he is being. I know it has to be hurtful, but if it really mattered that much he would have been there all along.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 8:11 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • BTW he's being very childish. He's not being a real dad. Like I said he needs to earn that title

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 8:11 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Your ex is being unrealistic and selfish and immature, I would tell dad to get over it, this is what happens when you disappear!

    Answer by older at 8:12 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • mommy of 2 is a dad? this is cafe MOM.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:12 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I think he has no right to speak....when he was'nt there for his kid. He should be very happy that your husband was there for her...I would not stop your daughter from calling him dad...

    Answer by Mamato2angels at 8:12 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • if her real father wants to step up and become her dad then he would not use a lame excuse like that to go back to being the deadbeat that he is. he's just looking for a scapegoat for being a sorry excuse for a dad, that's all. sorry if i sound so mean, but it's true.

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:12 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Biodad will just have to deal with it.... Our boys call my Husband, (he's their stepfather) Dad, and it was something they all did on their own. Their biodad is "Daddy", and my Hubby is "Dad".. That's how they do it, and I don't say anything, they love them both, and our 7 yr old even said he's a lucky kid, he has 2 Dads!

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 8:13 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • absolutely not!! thats their dad. biology doesnt matter. dad is a verb not a noun. bio dad needs to get over it and pay support. my kids call their stepdad dad and their bio dad by his first name. i have not told them to do any of this. they choose to do this on their own. its how they feel.

    Answer by mykidsmom86 at 8:14 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Sorry to say your ex sounds very immature. I would demand that he goes to a therapist with you to discuss the matter before he sees your daughter any further. He might try to turn your child against your husband. My ex knows that our kids call my husband, their step dad, "Dad". What is the big deal. My husband was more of a dad to my kids than my ex. Kids should not be forced to call him dad or forced to not call him Dad.

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 8:15 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.