Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Laziness...

My husband just found out his daughter was not in foster care after all these years and is now living with us. Yea!! But she came with sooooo many promblems and I am trying my best to help her fix them. My step daughter is 21 and has been living with her mother up to the time she moved in with us. Her mother come to find out handicapped the girl by doing everything and anything for her. But really never had time or patience to teach her child anything at all...like cooking, cleaning, driving, or paying bills. So I am trying my best to help her learn evryting she eeds to live on her own. But now she whines or says she is going to marry a house bitch. O.k. so she wanted a house bitch and that she would have to be the man of the house. So, when our car broke down ......electric fuel pump went out. I made her go outside and help her father fix the promblem in the car. She whined about that and decided to be the house bitch instead of the man in the relationship. So, I have been teaching her to cook and clean but she whines so loudly that it seems that she is delivering a cow. It is simple chores like wipping down counters, washing dishes, or dusting. Plus, cooking is very simple things like mac-n-cheese, or open a can of green beans. The whining is not the promblem ...the promblem is that she half does the cooking or the chore of the day. Like tonight was washing dishes...oh she wash the dish but didn't rinse them and food was still left on the plates or pans. This is now the 10th time I have showed her how to wash the dishes. My patience is wearing very thin with her...I do not know what to do.....So ladies....I must ask what would you do with a child who does not catch on to how to do house chores even though you taught them over and over and over and over and over and over (well you get the point) again?

Answer Question
 
BrknWingAngel

Asked by BrknWingAngel at 10:50 PM on Dec. 8, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 8 (243 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • She is 21, therefore a grown-up now. Maybe you've done all you can. Or maybe she's just nasty and doesn't care if the dishes she wash are still dirty...does things half-ass.
    Iluvautumn

    Answer by Iluvautumn at 11:01 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • Find her a man who wants to do things for his woman. My x did all the housework and paid all the bills. She'll be fine. There is no law that says she has to learn what you think she should know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • let her know that no man is going to want to marry her if she dont know how to care for her self and keep house and have men tell her that
    Paigesmommy78

    Answer by Paigesmommy78 at 11:03 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I am a bit confused. Why was she placed in Foster care to begin with? Did you or your husband look for her? I'm confused. She is 21 and can't cook, or do domestic chores. I am more concerned with the fact if she has any goals in life? College, trade school, etc? What is she doing with her life? I would try to encourage her to make something of herself. You can't enable her to be helpless. Good luck.

    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 11:06 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • I agree. You cant help someone who doesnt want help. Encourage her to get a higher education. Better herself.
    ready4baby2011

    Answer by ready4baby2011 at 11:27 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • She understands how to wash dishes she just doesnt want to do it. She's not a child she is a grown woman its time for her to take care of herslef. She would have to go.
    MommyTanisha

    Answer by MommyTanisha at 11:32 PM on Dec. 8, 2010

  • My daughters never did anything around the house, I was glad to do them for them. They are adults now with homes of their own and guess what, they do a beautiful job of keeping it together, everything has a time and a place, she will eventually get hers.
    older

    Answer by older at 12:00 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • i have 21 yr old daughter would you want me to send her to you lol
    your step daughter is drama queen i hate whinning kids sound like pigs just stop doing for her and she will have to learn remember no ones has taught any thing but you so yes she will forget more times then none but instead of yelling try this ,thank-you for doing the dish
    i could not have done it with out you,you have treat her like small child. even thou the dishes look like shit she needs to hear prise or two
    she might just turn around hang in there mom your not alone
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 1:40 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • Its not that she is not catching on its that she genuinely does not give a shit!!! I would tell her that if she cant help out she can get the hel out!!!!!


    -Lace 23 married mother of one beautiful little girl-
    lacyjay1987

    Answer by lacyjay1987 at 10:52 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I think I am finally winning with her....please read "I am Done" and " I am not keeping score but I think They are finally seeing the light" in my journals. Throwing her out is the easiest thing to do but you have got to understand it is HIS daughter and that is not something he would do to his own child. In the end I would lose the battle with both of them and I might eve lose my husband on top of it......plus it would be so easy just to throw her out. Why not everyone else has thrown her out of their house why not us? I feel this child needs help and in some way I will try to figure out on how to do it beside throwing her out in the streets.
    BrknWingAngel

    Comment by BrknWingAngel (original poster) at 11:39 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN