Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I leave him?

My husband and I have been arguing so much lately, and it seems like neither one of us is ever happy. We are upset with each other a lot, sometimes it seems like for no reason at all. We have a one year old and a three year old, and I know it is not healthy for them to have to see this all the time. He also has been drinking a lot lately, and when I talked to him about it, he didn't think that it is a problem. But to me it is a problem because we can barely even pay the rent on time, yet he still goes out and buys himself a bottle of alcohol. He is the only one of us working because I am going to school full time and taking care of the kids during the day. So if I leave him, I don't even know if I could support myself and the kids. Also, he has hit me before right in front of the kids, but he hasn't done it lately. I don't know what to do. Should i leave him, or try and work things out?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Nov. 6, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • apply for public housing finish school and get a house of your own you have to put your kids first ..Im not trying to be mean please dont be offended...

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • If you feel it is best for the kids then you should.. It is a very hard thing to do.. I hope all goes well for you
    emturner

    Answer by emturner at 9:49 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • Well as if the drinking weren't enough! I think hitting me would make walk right out that door, especially if he did it in front of my kids! My dad is the same way..him and my mom can be so tight on money yet she can still afford a pack a day..and he still gets his 12 pack! I personally think it is a selfish thing to do on his part! He seems like a jerk! Just get out while you can. And he has to support you AND your children! And although you may not want to ..you can get some help from government programs in your state! Esp if you are a single mother going to school! Good Luck sweetie:]
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • Leave. First off, if you have to ask if you should leave, then yes you need to leave.

    Secondly, hitting you is a HUGE no-no, especially infront of the kids. This is no longer about you, this is about them, and you do not want them raised in the same environment I was, trust me.

    Thirdly, he has hit you but not lately? Come on now, you know better than that. There is nothing stopping him from doing it again, and if he did it in front of the kids, then he is going to do it again.

    If you are not able to leave on your own accord, then think of the welfare of the children. He is an alcoholic, and your children risk not having a home because of his drinking. Get out now before it gets worse.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 9:51 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • And there was this one girl that he worked with recently and I had that same "feeling" about her but not as strong..and nothing ever happened with them..but she did mess around with his friend knowing he had a fiance and a baby! So i guess it was sort of right about her!! It just wasn't concerning my man..lol! Point is usually when you get that feeling there is a reason of some sort! So my advice is don't ignore it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:59 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I would pack up and leave now. Any corner I turn lives a friend or family member where I can stay though. You can call domestic violence houses in your area and they will put you up, help you find housing if there is no where else to go. You can try counseling, try to get him into a program but I wouldn't move back in with him until he was sober and doing well for at least a year and by that time you might have moved on anyway. Good luck and if you have trouble finding resources in your area, let me know your zip code and I'll reach out and find you some numbers to call
    Allysmom11

    Answer by Allysmom11 at 10:07 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • honestly, try to work it out. Leave for awhile, find a place for you and your kiddos, but try marriage counceling, and having him go to AA. It'll be very difficult. But it can be done if he really wants you to stay. But you're in this marriage together, and there are vows through sickness and health, and alcoholism is a sickness that you should at least try to fight through.
    mrseum

    Answer by mrseum at 10:14 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • wow. Did I write this? Message me!!! We have alot in common lol
    ReadyToRage

    Answer by ReadyToRage at 10:18 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • Hitting you was the last straw. I can't say what I'd do myself. Took me 14 years to get out of an abusive relationship, but I DID get out. He never hit me, but if he did, I might have got out sooner. What he did IS abusive. Don't doubt it for a minute, and it'll probably get worse. Get out now.
    rhope4

    Answer by rhope4 at 10:26 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.