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Myself and my boyfrind of fours having problems

I have been with my boyfriend for four years.Last year i found out he had cheated on me.We decided to stay together but the trust factor was damaged.We argue alot now about evry thng.For some odd reason i can forgive the cheating but i cnt forget and it comes up alaot in arguments.I am not the same way i used to be with him and i'm still vary hurt,He does;nt get that and he wants me to leave it in the past.Ok i could do that but alot of the reasons y i dnt drape myself over him is because i still thnkn bout him cheatn.Should i just leave him??????????He also letsme knw that him cheating had alot to do with my mouth.I'm sorry i dnt feel any of him cheating was my fault.is he right or wrong.I feel like the end of me and him is near

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 AM on Dec. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • You should have left his sorry ass when he cheated. HE is the cheater. It's not your fault.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 9:13 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • If you keep bringing it up you really havent forgave him for it. It sounds like your trying to force the relationship to work.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 9:15 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • My fiance and I have been through a similar situation and I suggest you guys do couple's counseling before you decide to leave the relationship. Sometimes the problem is mostly caused by lack of communication.
    MarcsWife05

    Answer by MarcsWife05 at 9:15 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I couldn't stay with someone who cheated & continue to be happy.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 9:21 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • It sounds like the cheating is still a big issue between you. If you both want to keep the relationship I suggest you go to couples counseling that way you both can work it out and put it behind you. Otherwise your only other choices are #1- to keep on like you are now, or #2- walk away and end the relationship.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:25 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • His cheating has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with him. That was HIS choice to cheat. He could've chose not to cheat and to break it off instead of he wanted to be with someone else. However, he chose to betray you and he chose to be unfaithful. No reason justifies him cheating, so don't ever let him make you feel like you had any part in him cheating. He's an adult and he made that conscience choice to cheat.

    With that said, I can't tell you whether to stay with him or not. However, if I were in that situation I wouldn't be able to stay with him. Even if I were able to forgive the one incident I wouldn't be able to trust him again. I wouldn't feel the same way about him anymore and that would ultimately damage my relationship with him. I've been cheated on and it's not something you just get over.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:25 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • i have a similar situation here. but i dont think or know he has cheated.. im sorry to hear tho
    mommyoftristan

    Answer by mommyoftristan at 9:26 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • You really haven't forgiven him if you keep bringing it up. If you want to truly forgive him, do it and leave it in the past. Personally, I would have not forgiven so easily, if at all. And he didn't cheat because of your mouth. He cheated because he couldn't be faithful. To turn it on you to me would mean that he isn't sorry, but sorry he got caught.

    I would get some counseling to figure out how to either forgive him deep down or survive when you realize that enough is enough and move on.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 9:29 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • You can't forget because you really haven't forgiven and you never will. The reason you're arguing is because you still have and will always have those images of what he did with that other women, that he should only be doing with you, in your head. Another thing, his cheating had EVERYTHING to do with you. Think of this, if YOU weren't in the picture, it wouldn't be called cheating. If it had nothing to do with YOU, you wouldn't be hurt. If he didn't have something to do with YOU, he would have had to sneak around. And, if it didn't have anything to do with YOU, YOU would have to be the one to forgive and forget. My SO also tells me to "get over it already", how cute that he brings disaster and chaos into our lives and then I have to get over it on his timeframe. Listen, you will never get over it because he shared with someone else one of the key and major factors that makes you and him a couple and now that he
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 9:46 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • continued...

    shared it with someone else, it will never, ever be something special for you to. Think of this, every time he touches you in a particular way, you will wonder if he touched her the same way. Every time you look at his face, you will get the image of his mouth on that nasty cum dumpsters c*nt. Every time you have sex...every hump, bump, grind and grunt of "I'm cumming" you'll know that he did the same with her. If he did any of the hiding, then he went out of his way to hurt you on purpose...yes, it's on purpose because what did he think, that sticking his dick in another women was something that you were going to brush off with "oh, that's okay honey"...NOT! Now the one vital thing you have to think about is he had no regard for your life when he went and fucked her and then came home and fucked you. Think of this, he could have killed you with a disease...then were would u & the kids be...forgive my ass
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 9:51 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

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