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2 Bumps

DH's story

Last night my DH was telling me about work (1st time in a while) He was talking about how he didn't know if he had a job any more. At first he told me it was a joke taken wrong. I left it at that. Later he told me the rest of the story, apparently he a female coworker wasn't able to go to lunch one day so he bought her lunch and took it to her. She later repayed him back by taking him to lunch. So an office joke started that they were seeing each other. Well this has gotten him in some hot water. He said she had a bf and of course he's married. More of the story went along apparently they have gone to lunch more than once. Now of course the stories are flying. Then I asked about her bf he said their split but he still called him bf through out the story and why they split. This all started before the Thanksgiving (when the manager called it out). He said they jokely "this has been going on since October". He kept saying their only friends and now can't talk at work. He has to wait 30 min after she leaves so they won't say anything. I also know they have been texting I have seen her name but I have not seen any text (yes bad me has checked his texts are gone). What should I make of this. Joke gone wrong or other.......

Answer Question

Asked by aus14 at 10:02 AM on Dec. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (309 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • What is your intuition telling you? It has more power than we realize. In my opinion something doesn't seem right. It is almost like he got to you early and told an innocent story in case the real one gets back to you. The texts should be a red flag in and of itself. Sorry you are going through this and hope it turns out ok.

    Answer by shanlaree at 10:06 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Well, i will say that in my office days i had what we jokingly called "my office boyfrfiend". He was my friend, who's about 30 years older than me. Neither of us had any feelings for each other at all. He's happily married & so am i. We were just good friends & that was all, nothing more...nothing less. Sometimes he would text me a joke, or a funny picture. It was never anything inappropriate. BUT, people in the office were spreading rumors that we were having sex which was totally opposite from the truth. Everyone in the office was hell bent on saying we "had something going on" when we really did not. Everyone else in the office were douche bags & that's why we were friends...becasue everyone else sucked. My DH was friends with him too though & DH would jokingly refer to him as my "office boyfriend". So, i know that office people can have platonic friendships with the opposite sex. BUT, i would still investigate further...

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:08 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • it could be a joke gone wrong, i don't think he would have told you about it if it was more. the thing about work is rumors are always going to fly around the office. they probably are just friends but since they are of the opposite sex people want to read more into it then there actually is. trust your man until he gives you a reason not to. don't let office gossip make you see things that probably are not there.

    Answer by lovingedward at 10:08 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • definitely follow your intuition on this one....a woman's gut is usually spot on!

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:09 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • honestly if he thinks that they are just friends/coworkers having lunch and its no big deal.....ask him to invite her to your house for dinner then see what you intuition tells you is going on......good luck i hope everything turns out ok

    Answer by cara124 at 10:11 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I used to manage a restaurant and I always had one server (usually male) that would stay late with me so I wouldn't be there by myself. All the younger servers/hostesses always said I was having an affair with whichever male it was at the time. I wasn't and although I was really good friends with all 3 of them (and still am with 2 of them), I would never have had a relationship with them. My bf (not husband) was at the bar one night and overheard the hostesses talking about me and "Cody" and our relationship - my bf thought it was really funny, because he trusts me and knew there was nothing going on.
    But it eventually got back to MY manager and he didn't think it was so funny. I told him there was nothing going on and eventually I left anyway because I got married and had a baby, but sometimes things are blown way out of proportion when there's nothing going on.

    Answer by missanc at 10:13 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Yes, do what cara124 said, that could be a great indicator of whether it is something more or nothing at all.

    Answer by shanlaree at 10:14 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • It sounds like he trying to smoothly role you into the situation he created in case he gets fired over this, you don't get caught of guard and of course, since he's telling you, you're NEVER going to think he cheating...right. Go with your gut and no, it's not wrong of you to check his phone, if he's not doing anything wrong, they you can check anything you want but since he is deleting the text, etc., take if from someone that's been there, this sound way, way, way to fishy.

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 10:17 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • hmm..why would he be fired over lunch though? employees can have lunch together can't they..i would say he isnt telliing you everything

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:17 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • She sounds fishy to me. I would show up at work and show my face and go to lunch with my husband. Be careful. The categories are casual work buddies, work wives or hubbies or the last one is the affair bound type. She sounds like trouble and he is trying to give you a heads up knowing that something is going to leak out.I think she will either transfer or quit. Usually it will end up that way. Office romances hardly survive, even the taboo kind.

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 10:20 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

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