Please give me your advice. Do i leave it at this? I feel terrible bc I know she will sad... I'm a people pleaser. :( stressed about it.
This is what I sent : (to my mothers, mom. my grandmother. who i have never seen growing up. only the last few years shes been coming around - now that i'm married, and have my own life. it was my mom who kept her from us growing up - now i'm an adult and have to make the hard choice myself. shes been nice (to me), and trying to be "family".)
"It's hard for me to write this email...
I have to be honest with you - and I have to be honest with myself. My Mother is THE most important, and influential woman in my life. She means the world to me. She has loved me, and cared for me, provided for me, and most of all loved me unconditionally since the day that she gave birth to me. I respect my mother with every ounce of my being and I would and will, do anything for her.
My mother went through a lot of things when she was growing up. Things that I do not feel the need to point out. Things that a mother, should never have allowed to happen to their child, things that a mother should have stood up and prevented from happening - and not done herself.
I have looked into my Mothers eyes - for a lot of years growing up - and I have seen the sadness of a hurt little girl. I tormented, scarred little girl. A little girl who you abandoned many many years ago. In doing that, you've cost yourself a lot over the years. You've lost your daughter - who could have made your life so wonderful - your granddaughters, and now a great grandchild... and I assume much more...
You have hurt my mother so many times, in so many ways, and have put holes in her heart - that she may have thought would never be filled. The truth is, that they have been filled. Filled by an amazing husband who has helped her through so many dark days. Who has been there for her, and her daughters, through thick and thin. Filled by her daughters - who thanks to know one but herself, have been raised with so much care. Filled by a grandson who she will hold in her arms any minute she may choose. My mother has so much love in her life now. More than anyone could imagine. My Mother let go of you - and your hurt, a long time ago. I will not watch anyone hurt my Mother. I cannot be a part of anything that would bring up such horrible memories, that she has worked so hard to forget.
You trying to pry your way into my life, and my sisters life, is something that will hurt my Mother. I do not, and will not, lie to my mother. I am an open book to her. I won't keep any relationship from her. If it's a relationship that would be hurtful to her - to the woman who raised me - I just will not be a part of it. You did many terrible things over a lot of years. You allowed many terrible things to happen. Knowing this - I cannot have any respect for you. I cannot respect my mother with all of my heart, and have room to have any positive feelings for someone who's been so hurtful.
I am asking you, out of respect for my mother, to not be a part of my family's life. We have everything we need, in each other; and if there was anything that you could ever do for my mother - it would be to just let go and walk away...... like I am now."
Asked by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Dec. 9, 2010 in Relationships
Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:25 AM on Dec. 9, 2010
Answer by Sandyr911 at 10:25 AM on Dec. 9, 2010
Answer by lovingedward at 10:26 AM on Dec. 9, 2010
Answer by usdragonflies at 10:27 AM on Dec. 9, 2010
Answer by NannyB. at 10:27 AM on Dec. 9, 2010
Answer by Gremlyn1980 at 10:27 AM on Dec. 9, 2010
Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:29 AM on Dec. 9, 2010
Answer by ditchen4 at 10:30 AM on Dec. 9, 2010
Answer by bseastrand at 10:30 AM on Dec. 9, 2010