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discipline/8 year old

Not being the mom/but very close family member I need to know what to do when a very strong 8yr old throws his dinner plate across the room because someone touched it or ask the wrong question. This is scary because he is getting stronger as he gets older and he at anytime will punch/slap or attack if you say something he doesnt think you should have said.
He is spoiled and has never had more than a time out for his actions. Usually everyone is trying to calmly clean up the mess he makes quietly and not scream to make matters worse.
This is urgent and I am desperate for help in doing the right thing.....Thank you.

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Asked by ang2100 at 11:33 AM on Dec. 9, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Are you living in the house with this? I think a parental sit down is a must - if this spoiled behavior is not stopped, it WILL only get worse..

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:34 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Boy he has everyone working for him, doesn't he? That situation does need to be turned around quickly. In my house he would have to clean the mess up himself, then be sent to bed for the night. No exceptions. I would also explain to him that if he is so unappreciative and disrespectful for the nice dinner that was prepared for him, he will lose it. Table manners are important I would tell him.

    The next 7 nights I would make him set the table and serve his dinner on a paper plate with plastic forks. And if he tries it again, the same consequence as above. No need for violence or loud shouting. You can correct him quietly and effectively with some natural consequences in this case.

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:37 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I make my eight year old step son write 25 times I will not .. whatever he did wrong. If it happens again he writes it fifty times and gets sent to his room. However, no matter what my 8 year old would be cleaning it himself.

    Answer by bseastrand at 11:42 AM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • This family and this child need to see a therapist asap (the best is when the child can go both with the family and on their own). I agree with the other comment, this behavior only gets worse, and MORE dangerous as the child gets bigger and older and continues to see that they can express their anger any way they want (and the fact that this anger never gets addressed or handled only makes it grow, creating a vicious and ongoing cycle that will be absolute HELL to deal with in teenager form). This child is crying out for boundaries, and his parents are absolutely letting him down by not providing any.

    This child and family are very lucky to have someone like you in their lives, who is concerned. One caring adult can make a HUGE difference in the life of a child like this. It's possible the boy also needs to be diagnosed, but the problem is with the parents 100%, what they do and don't do is creating this situation.

    Answer by whatthewhat at 3:39 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I would get this kid into therapy asap. That is NOT normal or acceptable behavior at any age.

    Answer by KTMOM at 8:48 AM on Dec. 10, 2010

  • get some therapy for him... it's too late for time outs... sorry.

    Answer by asil at 8:06 PM on Dec. 11, 2010

  • Not your kid, nothing you can do. The parents need to start teaching appropriate behavior and instilling manners ASAP. No expensive therapy needed, just some good old fashioned actual parenting.

    Answer by Pnukey at 7:52 PM on Dec. 12, 2010

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