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Is it worth holding on to?

We have been together for 15 months. Started out it was jus supposed to be "friends with benefits". Somewhere along the line we both started catching feelings. A day didnt go by that we didnt talk. if i didnt txt or call him by a certain time in the morning, he was callin or textin me to make sure everything was ok. one day about 3 weeks ago, a really good friend of mine told me that he has been texting and calling her for about 2 weeks, all day and at all hours, trying to have sex with her. she claims that she told him taht she couldnt do sumthing like that to me, and that when she told him that she knows how much i love him, and that they both know that i would do anything for him. and he told her that its too much for him and that is was just supposed to b a sex thing, and that my feelings are tooo much for him to deal with. when i confronted him about it, he said that she was lying, and that he has feelings for me, and that he wants to be with me just as much as i do wanna be with him. He says that everything is cool. Since i confronted him about this, he has stopped texting and calling her (i think) but he has also stopped texting and calling me. And when i ask whats going on? he says im sorry baby, i was really busy at work today. He says that with the holidays coming up, he is just really stressed, and that everything will be ok, and bac to normal soon. in the past week i have only really seen him and talked to him once. and that wasnt for very long, and i think it was really only cuz he wanted me to go to the store and get a few things for him the next day while on my lunch break. i got what he wanted, and sent him a text to let him know, that i got everything, and i didnt hear from him, so i texted again, and he said he was busy, he would talk to me later.and i didnt get a thank you or anything, until later that evening. So far today i havent heard anything from him. im trying not to text or call him, cuz i jus wanna see if he will call or text me first. I really love him and dont wanna leave him, but at this point is it really worth me holding on to? i dont know what i should do and it is making everyone around me including my kid miserable.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:35 PM on Dec. 9, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • No matter what it started at you have grown feelings for him and that is understandable as we woman wear our hearts on your sleeves but you can not hold it against him if he hasn't grown too. Men can have casual sex and think nothing of it, wish we could right? I think you should sit down and have a real convo about it. Don't put him on the spot or he'll run for sure just let him know that you want to get everything straight with him and out on the table. If he doesn't want to talk or blows you off then you have your answer and you need to move on for your own sake. He may just be really busy and you could be stressin over nothing but you have to get it from his mouth and not through your cellphone. I confronted my fwb and we have been married now for 3 years, it's worth your feelings get hurt to know weather or not it is really love, no one likes holding on to hope. Good luck and I hope this helps some,

    Answer by mamapeeler at 12:45 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • If there is love, it is worth hanging on to. You just need to sit down with this guy and ask him to tell you what's up and if he wants out.

    Answer by older at 12:37 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I think he wanted his cake and to eat it to!! I think you should let him go!! I know it will be hard but there is someone out there that will give you their time and be faithful to you!!

    Answer by 2prettylittle1s at 12:38 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • If he really and truly loved you he would NOT have been contacting your friend and trying to have sex with her on the side. His recent behavior of 'ignoring' you and your texts/calls and his excuse to be 'busy' makes me wonder if he has someone else on the side or if he is busy soliciting (texting, calling) someone else. If it were me I would end it with him and find someone who will be faithful and true to me and only me!

    Answer by MizLee at 1:20 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • He sounds like a little scumbag and I would just stop it while your not TOO invested.

    Answer by bjojola at 12:36 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Oh he's playing you. If it's not the other girl you mentioned, it's someone else. I wouldn't even give him the stuff he asked for, I'd text him a big, fat GOOD-BYE and never respond to another call or message of his again. Sorry.

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:40 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • I think this is the end to all of what you've had with him before. He's been found out for what he really is and is making excuses as to why his behavior has changed. It's best that you forget about him and move on and never look back. I'm serious. It's going to be hard, but you can do it. Know your self-worth.

    Answer by LanaisSky96 at 12:40 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Stop doing things he obviously doesn't appreciate. If you are just his sex buddy (to him) then you shouldn't be running his errands anyway. I think you should consider finding someone who appreciates you and for more than just sex. (I've been there and don't want that anymore)

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:41 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Figures... but it's up to you in the end. It's all about what you're willing to continue to put up with until he actually calls it quits for good.

    Answer by LanaisSky96 at 12:46 PM on Dec. 9, 2010

  • Nothing good comes from starting out a relationship as friends with benefits.

    And honestly, you need to get rid of this one. He is not even being a friend, if you ask me.

    Answer by spottedpony at 1:56 PM on Dec. 9, 2010